Evan Almighty

Evan Almighty is the best movie I have seen all year. It's funny and serious. It balances both perfectly.

I can easily say the Evan Almighty is better than Bruce Almighty. The story is better, the acting is better, and the emotion of the film is better. The only thing bad that can be said about it is it's not as funny as Bruce Almighty.

The biggest difference in the movie is, of course, the main character. Jim Carey is an over actor, a funny over actor. Steve Carell is a great actor. Funny, but subtly so. His comedy doesn't demand all of your attention. Thats why the movie isn't as funny as the first.

It is his great acting that takes a ridiculous situation and makes you care about what is going on. So, Evan is Moses. That concept is a hard one to work with, other than making it slap stick comedy. By the end of the movie, I was fully engrossed. I cared about what Evan had sacrificed to build the ark. I needed him to be right so the people who mocked him building the boat would be proven wrong.

I overheard a lady leaving the theater say that it was way better than the first one. "I was tearing up." The end of the movie is awesome. Great special effects help bring the movie to an awesome climax that is the icing for this sweet pastry of a movie.

Their is so much more so say, but dang, just go see it.

My Sister and Her Fascination with a Non-Existent Athlete

Who does your little sister have a crush on? Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Hedo Turkoglu?

Not my sister.

First off, I love sports video games. My favorite of which is NCAA Football. I remember one year I had a copy of NCAA Football that my sister got into. So much so, she would disappear in her room for a few hours. I would have to beg her to give me my game back.

My sister didn't play as the Gators, or the Buck Eyes, or even Hofstra. No, her team of choice was the Judah U. Buddhists.

Fred Savage: "Who the hell are the Judah U. Buddhists?"

Well Fred, they are the created university, named after a fake record label my sister made up. That's right fake record label! They had black and burgundy jerseys, and some weird shield thing for a logo.

She play with this team over and over. She play the same season multiple times. Never mind the fact that in this video game, as you played your players graduated and you recruited new players.

I think you could play up to 30 seasons. But my sister would only play the first three. Why? The reason for this is that she had a little thing for the fake, non-existent QB named D.D. Nix. Thats right! A QB that was named randomly by the computer. All I can do is shrug and shake my head. I don't really have much else to add to that. Thats my sister.

You see, after three seasons, D.D. Nix graduated. So she would just start the whole thing over again so she could play as Nix more.

To this day, if I bring up Mr. Nix, she will say stuff like, "I love D.D." or "I miss D.D. Nix."

She even tried recreating him on Madden NFL. "It's just not the same", she says.

That's my sister and I am not ashamed.

A Quick Word About Growing Older Terminology

What would happen if you, being a male, asked your male friend if he wanted to have a "sleep over?" My guess, assuming that you both are straight, you would be punched in the mouth.

"Hey dude, I just got Halo 14, you should come over and hang out!"

"Awesome! We could have a sleep over."

"Nevermind, I think I have to go... cheese shopping."

Oh, that didn't go so well. Let's try that again, with some different terminology.

"Hey dude, I just got Halo 14, you should come over and hang out!"

"Awesome! Hey would it be cool if I crashed at your place."

"Hell yeah man, we'll be pwning newbs all night long."

Ah, much better.

On a side note, how long do you think it will be before pwned is in the dictionary?

Swan, Tip, and Slash!

It started off like any other trip to the grocery store. We went up and down the isles picking out our items while looking around for free samples. Once the cart had enough weight in the basket, I started to ride the cart. I was weaving in and out of the isles. Gracefully knocking over the well organized displays. The casualties were at an all time low. My wife was complementing the easy with which I glided around the store.

We left the store, cart full of food. As we left, I approached the downhill ramp that lead out of the store. I looked left and looked right, then I rode down the ramp. One of my little brothers friends just happened to be around. He was so jealous of my skills.

We unloaded the cart. I was feeling pretty high. So I took one last ride on the cart. I was in the middle of my patented Swan Float (thats when you have just hands on the cart, no feet), when I realized that there wasn't anymore weight in the cart. The front of the cart jumped up, I fell to the ground, and the cart crashed with a loud clatter.

My pride wounded, I got up and dusted my self off. "Get in the car honey, lets get out of here."

Nearly the entire ride home, my wife laughed at me busting my ass. My elbow and my knee are both lightly skinned, but the big thing was there was an old lady and her granddaughter looking right at me when I fell.

You'd think a fall like this might discourage me. You'd be wrong.

I am reminded of Lance Armstrong and his little yellow bracelets. Now I am inspired. I have got to get back on that horse/racing bike/shopping cart. If Lance can come back, than I can get up from this mess and make something of myself.

I will make a come back! You'll see!

Summer Movies and Fantasy Football

Here we go!

Friday is the official start of the Summer blockbusters. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer!

This should be a great summer for movies. We already had Spiderman 3, which I liked. I know some people thought it sucked. Buy those people liked The English Patient. Sooo, their opinion doesn't effect me that much.

Lets run em' down,

Transformers
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Telli-Tubbies take Manhattan
Uhh... um, I thought there was more.

It might just be that I am writing this kind of late at night and my brain doesn't work.

How about some under the radar movies I want to see?

Eagle Vs Shark looks awesome, and so does Hot Rod.

Fantasy Football

Only a complete dork would have his fantasy football league started up in June!

Yes, I have started my next fantasy football group.

We are expanding, hopefully, from 6 to 10 teams this year. With a little bit of encouragement the smack talk will begin early and continue through the football season. I will be the returning champion. With that comes a lot of pressue. All of the Spoon User fans, or "Spoonies", will want to see a repeat performance. Plus Carson Palmer has been on my case about reworking his contract. Shoot, you only played half the year for me. I don't know that I will be bringing him back. As a GM, you need to take a stand once and a while. I can't let my players walk all over me.

Letter to my Mini-Van

Dear Mini-Van,

We have known each other a while now. We have been through a lot. You remember that time I ran over a curb and blew out that tire? That was awesome! Oh, the laughs we shared over that. I know you aren't the best looking van on the block. But, that never bothered me. I always ignored the glares from people wondering why some dude with wild hair is driving a beat up Mini-Van. I was just glad you got me from A to B. I'm proud of you.

Well, today you only got me to A and a half. Not that I am complaining, I know I haven't changed the oil in like 8 months. Needless to say I am thinking of moving on. Now you can retire in a Mini-Van retirement home. You can hit on all the Mini-Coopers that are way our of you league. Maybe your next owner will change the oil. I bet you'd like that.

Let's face it, your brakes are going, your timing chain is about to go, and you ain't got no A/C. We knew this was coming. I imagine I may drive you a few more times, but hey you had a good run. Now your going to be scrapped and parted out. Think of it this way, your sort of like an organ donor! How honorable of you.

Oh well take it easy,
--Norton G.