Friday, January 25, 2008


No, this isn't a post about my plans to create a low budget version of 300 with nothing but sock puppets. Maybe later.

This the the 100th post. DAMN SKIPPY!

Me and my buddy Von Urrich have been having a little blogging war. It is no secret that when it comes to updating my blog, I tend to take my time. Well, since Von, as I like to call him because it is shorter to type, started posting with almost daily frequency, I have also been blogging. Now I think he has me beat in new post this year. But Von, 100! Eat that!

I know that at the pace you are on, you may pass me soon enough. We shall see.

Enough about him, this is my anniversary and I want to look back at all the awesome stuff I have done with this blog. Looking back on my blog, I sure have written a lot of dumb stuff. I have also written some crap I really like.

My Future Scalzi Review is still one of my favorites.

Also see My Letter to my Mini-Van, Don't You Wish Your Girlfriend Could Blog like Me, and Worst Best Man Toast.

I know it might be just me, but I wrote some stuff I still think is funny. It is true that I find myself very entertaining.

Moving forward... I have no idea what I will find to write about. 100 post is cool for me. I know some people who have been updating their blog almost daily for years. I know they spit at my 100 post. But those people use the word musing.

Before I leave you, just one more Cyborg name.

Mechanical Intelligent Knight Engineered for Violence, Infiltration and Ceaseless Killing

Get Your Cyborg Name

Playing Keep Up

Here is my Cyborg name, just following Von Urrich.

Journeying Digital Individual Generated for Galactic Yelling

Get Your Cyborg Name

and here is my sisters...

Versatile Artificial Replicant Intended for Troubleshooting and Efficient Killing

Get Your Cyborg Name

very accurate!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

My Sister: The Fantasy Pimp

Let's say that you invite someone over to your house. You would hope that person would respect your home. I am guessing that you would appreciate it if said person asked before getting food from your fridge, or watching your TV, or using up the last of your toilet paper. How would you feel if that person just raided your pantry and ate all your double chocolate Pop Tarts. What if that person fired up your XBOX and finish all your games and then saved it, so your couldn't go back and beat it yourself. What if they laughed at you about it, "Haha, I don't ever like video games." Bullshonkey!

That's how I feel. I try to be nice. I invite my sister to play some fantasy sports with guys. So, she goes and wins all but one of our leagues. Earth to my sister, you don't like football, please stop being so damn awesome. "I don't even like football, you all suck." Well thanks for reminding us. I should strap you down and make you listen to the audio version of Skin by Ted Dekker as read by Gilbert Gottfried.

Maybe that's a little harsh. Maybe just read by Fran Drescher.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Best of 2007

Start the year off right, with a post.

Last year I did a list of the best books, music, and movies. I am going to do things a little bit different this year. I am going to do best of 07, "Dumb Stuff" style! What I mean by that is, there will be weird categories, like Best Prank Call. Also, if I do a best of 2007 movie or book, it doesn't unnecessarily mean that said movie or book came out in 07, it just took me to 07 to get to it. Let's begin.

Best Movie

Without question, Pan's Labyrinth. Dark, violent, and satisfying. Not because it was dark or violent, but because it was a perfectly told story. It was dark where it needed to be. It was violent where it needed to be. It was brilliantly acted. It stayed with me long after I finish watching it. Great movie.

Best CD

The Reminder by Feist. Not to toot my own horn... well actually, to toot my own horn, I was listening to Feist long before she did that iPod commercial. Granted her last album was no where near as good as this one. There are a few songs that suck, like Sea Lion, but for the most part the album is wonderful.

Worst Book Concepts

Manliness books. Books written by dudes that think it is manly to act like a moron. I forgot the title of the book, but it was something to the effect of The Handbook to Manliness. It features illustrated instructions on how to properly punch another man in the balls, head butt a woman in the breast, and how to grope a random woman at a concert. Classy stuff. If I saw a dude randomly groping unsuspecting women, I would use the punch in the balls techniques on dude.

Best Video Game

NHL 08. The best sports game in years! Flawless in gameplay, great graphics, and tons of play modes. The only not perfect thing about this game is the presentation. But as long as the game plays great, I not be carin'.

Best Prank Call

Normally when I prank call a friend, I assume that they will know it is me right away. So, I usually go for funny over actually trying to trick them into thinking it is real.

Enter Jason, a new friend from work.

We both work together and we both have voice mail at work. A recipe of awesome.

I was at the house one evening when I had this great idea for a prank call. I called him, again, totally assuming that I would be busted as soon as I started speaking, and left a voice mail for him. I did a Kip from Napoleon Dynamite voice for this one.

It went a little something like this.

Yes Jason, this is Felix. I called you last week about setting up an account with you. We had a good talk. I told you that I liked figure skating and you said you liked it too. I told you my favorite skater was Michelle Kwan, and you said your was Danny Bonaduce. I thought this was cool and you sold me some stuff.

Well come to find out, after doing some research on your favorite skater, I found out the Danny Bonaduce was an actor on the Partridge Family. So you lied to me!

Now usually when I make a prank call, if my cover isn't blow right from the get, it gets blown when I mention Danny Bonaduce. Anyway, he didn't know it was be until the very end. After a good laugh we did that only thing left to do. Play it for out supervisors and pretend it was real. They both bought it. It was great.

Last on Board Award...

...goes to me finally reading Harry Potter. Well not reading technically. I did check out the audio books from the library and listen to them on a few trips we took this year. Yes they are great, but I am not hooked like other people. I have gone through the first six books. I am waiting for the library to get the last book back in. If I were truly hooked I would have read my wifes copy of the last book by now.

Best Dump

June 16 at 6:15pm. Amazing!

Worst Months for Blogging

September and December: Zero Post.

Best Book

I said it last year, I don't really read books in the year they come out. That being said, I don't know what the best book I read was this year. So, here are some highlights.

Knight Life by Peter David
War of Gifts by Orson Scott Card
Tears of Artamon Trilogy by Sarah Ash
Last Colony by John Scalzi

Ok, that's it. I going to bed. Happy New Year.