Start the year off right, with a post.
Last year I did a list of the best books, music, and movies. I am going to do things a little bit different this year. I am going to do best of 07, "Dumb Stuff" style! What I mean by that is, there will be weird categories, like Best Prank Call. Also, if I do a best of 2007 movie or book, it doesn't unnecessarily mean that said movie or book came out in 07, it just took me to 07 to get to it. Let's begin.
Best Movie
Without question, Pan's Labyrinth. Dark, violent, and satisfying. Not because it was dark or violent, but because it was a perfectly told story. It was dark where it needed to be. It was violent where it needed to be. It was brilliantly acted. It stayed with me long after I finish watching it. Great movie.
Best CD
The Reminder by Feist. Not to toot my own horn... well actually, to toot my own horn, I was listening to Feist long before she did that iPod commercial. Granted her last album was no where near as good as this one. There are a few songs that suck, like Sea Lion, but for the most part the album is wonderful.
Worst Book Concepts
Manliness books. Books written by dudes that think it is manly to act like a moron. I forgot the title of the book, but it was something to the effect of The Handbook to Manliness. It features illustrated instructions on how to properly punch another man in the balls, head butt a woman in the breast, and how to grope a random woman at a concert. Classy stuff. If I saw a dude randomly groping unsuspecting women, I would use the punch in the balls techniques on dude.
Best Video Game
NHL 08. The best sports game in years! Flawless in gameplay, great graphics, and tons of play modes. The only not perfect thing about this game is the presentation. But as long as the game plays great, I not be carin'.
Best Prank Call
Normally when I prank call a friend, I assume that they will know it is me right away. So, I usually go for funny over actually trying to trick them into thinking it is real.
Enter Jason, a new friend from work.
We both work together and we both have voice mail at work. A recipe of awesome.
I was at the house one evening when I had this great idea for a prank call. I called him, again, totally assuming that I would be busted as soon as I started speaking, and left a voice mail for him. I did a Kip from Napoleon Dynamite voice for this one.
It went a little something like this.
Yes Jason, this is Felix. I called you last week about setting up an account with you. We had a good talk. I told you that I liked figure skating and you said you liked it too. I told you my favorite skater was Michelle Kwan, and you said your was Danny Bonaduce. I thought this was cool and you sold me some stuff.
Well come to find out, after doing some research on your favorite skater, I found out the Danny Bonaduce was an actor on the Partridge Family. So you lied to me!
Now usually when I make a prank call, if my cover isn't blow right from the get, it gets blown when I mention Danny Bonaduce. Anyway, he didn't know it was be until the very end. After a good laugh we did that only thing left to do. Play it for out supervisors and pretend it was real. They both bought it. It was great.
Last on Board Award...
...goes to me finally reading Harry Potter. Well not reading technically. I did check out the audio books from the library and listen to them on a few trips we took this year. Yes they are great, but I am not hooked like other people. I have gone through the first six books. I am waiting for the library to get the last book back in. If I were truly hooked I would have read my wifes copy of the last book by now.
Best Dump
June 16 at 6:15pm. Amazing!
Worst Months for Blogging
September and December: Zero Post.
Best Book
I said it last year, I don't really read books in the year they come out. That being said, I don't know what the best book I read was this year. So, here are some highlights.
Knight Life by Peter David
War of Gifts by Orson Scott Card
Tears of Artamon Trilogy by Sarah Ash
Last Colony by John Scalzi
Ok, that's it. I going to bed. Happy New Year.
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Saturday, February 10, 2007
February Finally Gets Some Bloggin' Love
February gets riped-off!
It's the shortest month of the year, no paid holidays, and we are 10 days in and I haven't updated my blog.
I have an excuse, kinda. I was on an impromptu vacation.
I either got fired, or laid off, or quit working at the store in January. I am really unclear on this, but all I know is I don't work there anymore. So, updating wasn't a problem.
I set off on the job hunting trail again, and ended up doing sales for a very large and well respected company. I gots mad benefits, DOG! It pays well and hooks yo homeboy up with da crazy insane plika plow.
Plika plow...? Uhh.. moving on.
Well, working where I am working, it is rather difficult to update my blog. Thus, no post in February until now. But, that's all going to change, sort of. I am going to try to update my blog at home now. There is a certain level of discipline that goes into maintaining this blog. Not much, but discipline none the less. You have to get off the couch. Go to the office. Log in. Then to top it off, I got to think of stuff and write it. Pshh... like I want to do that. It's easier to blog at work.
Digestion
Right now as I type this blog, many things are being set in motion. All of which are taking place in my lower intestine. Me and my wife went out to eat fish and chips last night. Well, I had fish and chips. She substituted her fries for broccoli, a decision I wish I had made. I don't think I am backed up, but plika plow, my junk hurts inside. As much as I blog about bad food, you think I would learn. I hate greasy food, but it taste SO GOOD! Fish and chips with malt vinegar...mmmm. (drool) Would it really hurt me to sub the fries, probably not. But they give you a whole lot a malt vinegar and so little fish. I gots to get that vinegar in my belly, and I can't just sit there and drink it. People would see me do it and try it. Then they would all get addicted and we would have a malt vinegar shortage. Then what the hell am I going to put on my fish. Nope, the best idea it to eat the fries with the vinegar. I mean, I can't let the vinegar go uneaten. So, my penalty for gluttony is having to grab my side like I ran 20 feet and needed to catch my breath. That didn't stop me from eating free cake from Kitchen and Spice, and a half a cinnamon roll from The Fresh Market. Sorry colon.
Plus, we didn't get no hush puppies! Plus, it took over a half hour to get our food. PLUS, when we complained to the manager he didn't try to make it right. "What do you want me to do to make this right for you?" Granted he probably was running around apologizing to everyone, but dang, your the manager, you tell me how your going to make it right. When we pay for food and wait a half hour and don't gets dem hushies! Alls I gots to say is PLIKA PLOW!
It's the shortest month of the year, no paid holidays, and we are 10 days in and I haven't updated my blog.
I have an excuse, kinda. I was on an impromptu vacation.
I either got fired, or laid off, or quit working at the store in January. I am really unclear on this, but all I know is I don't work there anymore. So, updating wasn't a problem.
I set off on the job hunting trail again, and ended up doing sales for a very large and well respected company. I gots mad benefits, DOG! It pays well and hooks yo homeboy up with da crazy insane plika plow.
Plika plow...? Uhh.. moving on.
Well, working where I am working, it is rather difficult to update my blog. Thus, no post in February until now. But, that's all going to change, sort of. I am going to try to update my blog at home now. There is a certain level of discipline that goes into maintaining this blog. Not much, but discipline none the less. You have to get off the couch. Go to the office. Log in. Then to top it off, I got to think of stuff and write it. Pshh... like I want to do that. It's easier to blog at work.
Digestion
Right now as I type this blog, many things are being set in motion. All of which are taking place in my lower intestine. Me and my wife went out to eat fish and chips last night. Well, I had fish and chips. She substituted her fries for broccoli, a decision I wish I had made. I don't think I am backed up, but plika plow, my junk hurts inside. As much as I blog about bad food, you think I would learn. I hate greasy food, but it taste SO GOOD! Fish and chips with malt vinegar...mmmm. (drool) Would it really hurt me to sub the fries, probably not. But they give you a whole lot a malt vinegar and so little fish. I gots to get that vinegar in my belly, and I can't just sit there and drink it. People would see me do it and try it. Then they would all get addicted and we would have a malt vinegar shortage. Then what the hell am I going to put on my fish. Nope, the best idea it to eat the fries with the vinegar. I mean, I can't let the vinegar go uneaten. So, my penalty for gluttony is having to grab my side like I ran 20 feet and needed to catch my breath. That didn't stop me from eating free cake from Kitchen and Spice, and a half a cinnamon roll from The Fresh Market. Sorry colon.
Plus, we didn't get no hush puppies! Plus, it took over a half hour to get our food. PLUS, when we complained to the manager he didn't try to make it right. "What do you want me to do to make this right for you?" Granted he probably was running around apologizing to everyone, but dang, your the manager, you tell me how your going to make it right. When we pay for food and wait a half hour and don't gets dem hushies! Alls I gots to say is PLIKA PLOW!
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
All Kinds Of Stuff
I would like to apologize first off for the lack of blogging goodness. It has been a weird month. Plus, I have been watching 24, and that just means it's very difficult to get around to blogging.
Job
I got a new job... again. This time I think it is a good one. I will be sitting on my sweet cheeks and answering phones to talk people into buy stuff. It finally happened, I am a salesman. No, I am not a telemarketer, so just calm down.
I will be only fielding unsolicited calls. To those of you I will be talking to in a couple of weeks, I promise to do my job, without annoying the crap out of you.
I went to the companies job fair to get an interview. Little did I know that they would be testing me.
They gave me a personality test, which they say you can't fail. But, if it look like you fit the personality of an ass, you failed.
Then they gave me a vocabulary and math test. I did well on the vocab, but the math test was timed, and they took away my calculator. This is the year 2007, who uses their brain for math anymore? They gave me 3 minutes to do 40 problems, I got through 4. I HATE MATH!
Luckily, that didn't stop them from hiring me after my amazing interview. 5 minutes in a room with me, who could resist my charm and charisma?
Little Miss Sunshine
My wife borrowed a copy of Little Miss Sunshine from a work associate a few days ago. She knew I was going to try to rent it from Netflix.
It's hard for me to think of all the movies I saw that came out in the year 2006, but I think I can safely say, this was the best.
Hard Science Fiction
I love Sci-fi novels. On occasion, I enjoy a fantasy novel. I have always said, I hate Hard SF. I started reading a book by Jack McDevitt called Deepsix. It is Hard SF, but it is great! (so far)
I am starting to wonder if my problem isn't hard SF stories, by hard SF writers. My biggest problem with hard SF is that the writers are way too heady. They use big words, that I don't care to learn. I don't want to read about a bunch of scientist doing math. I HATE MATH!
About a month ago, I was talking to my friend, Shane, about fiction books. I told him, "I just don't like the hard sf."
He reminded me that Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card was hard SF.
Speaker is one of my favorite books, not because of the hard SF elements, but because of the incredibly well written characters. The story centers around a dysfunctional family. I remembered that most of the members of that family were scientist. I came to the realization that scientist are people too, and Jack McDevitt knows it too.
That's why I am enjoying Deepsix. I love SF, but if the characters aren't well drawn, then I have a hard time reading it.
Job
I got a new job... again. This time I think it is a good one. I will be sitting on my sweet cheeks and answering phones to talk people into buy stuff. It finally happened, I am a salesman. No, I am not a telemarketer, so just calm down.
I will be only fielding unsolicited calls. To those of you I will be talking to in a couple of weeks, I promise to do my job, without annoying the crap out of you.
I went to the companies job fair to get an interview. Little did I know that they would be testing me.
They gave me a personality test, which they say you can't fail. But, if it look like you fit the personality of an ass, you failed.
Then they gave me a vocabulary and math test. I did well on the vocab, but the math test was timed, and they took away my calculator. This is the year 2007, who uses their brain for math anymore? They gave me 3 minutes to do 40 problems, I got through 4. I HATE MATH!
Luckily, that didn't stop them from hiring me after my amazing interview. 5 minutes in a room with me, who could resist my charm and charisma?
Little Miss Sunshine
My wife borrowed a copy of Little Miss Sunshine from a work associate a few days ago. She knew I was going to try to rent it from Netflix.
It's hard for me to think of all the movies I saw that came out in the year 2006, but I think I can safely say, this was the best.
Hard Science Fiction
I love Sci-fi novels. On occasion, I enjoy a fantasy novel. I have always said, I hate Hard SF. I started reading a book by Jack McDevitt called Deepsix. It is Hard SF, but it is great! (so far)
I am starting to wonder if my problem isn't hard SF stories, by hard SF writers. My biggest problem with hard SF is that the writers are way too heady. They use big words, that I don't care to learn. I don't want to read about a bunch of scientist doing math. I HATE MATH!
About a month ago, I was talking to my friend, Shane, about fiction books. I told him, "I just don't like the hard sf."
He reminded me that Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card was hard SF.
Speaker is one of my favorite books, not because of the hard SF elements, but because of the incredibly well written characters. The story centers around a dysfunctional family. I remembered that most of the members of that family were scientist. I came to the realization that scientist are people too, and Jack McDevitt knows it too.
That's why I am enjoying Deepsix. I love SF, but if the characters aren't well drawn, then I have a hard time reading it.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
On The Air and Sales People
Today was the store's official grand re-opening. We had a local radio station do a remote from the store. The manager and owner did an on air interview with the DJ. I was also interviewed.
The manager and the owner were both very professional and I was a total moron.
I had my DJ voice on. I was talking like a salesman, "We are stepping it up today, with big sales on music and books! So, come on down here and sign up for our card and get 10% off everything in the store."
Come to find out, I am going to be on the radio once a month. Doing what you ask? I will be telling people about new releases and trying to sell them stuff. I hope I can tone it down so I don't sound like an ass. I am not really a salesman, but I could easily become one if I am not careful.
My dad was a salesman, and I know how to act friendly to people. But, that's not who I want to be. I just want to be a genuine guy, who is real with people. I don't like being that over the top sales dude. I would rather be the guy who is trying to sell you something because I think you really would like it. I want to be nice to people because I am a nice person, not because I want to meet a quota.
When me and my wife were shopping for rings, we had some turd going all salesman on us. After we left, we both said we didn't want to give them our business. Just tell us what you have, and we will make our own decision. Don't pretend to be my buddy either, because all you really want is my money. You don't really like me, you didn't invite me to any barbecue's you had at your house. We haven't know each other for years, so stop acting like we are friends.
Sorry, but salespeople frustrate me. That's why becoming one scares me.
The manager and the owner were both very professional and I was a total moron.
I had my DJ voice on. I was talking like a salesman, "We are stepping it up today, with big sales on music and books! So, come on down here and sign up for our card and get 10% off everything in the store."
Come to find out, I am going to be on the radio once a month. Doing what you ask? I will be telling people about new releases and trying to sell them stuff. I hope I can tone it down so I don't sound like an ass. I am not really a salesman, but I could easily become one if I am not careful.
My dad was a salesman, and I know how to act friendly to people. But, that's not who I want to be. I just want to be a genuine guy, who is real with people. I don't like being that over the top sales dude. I would rather be the guy who is trying to sell you something because I think you really would like it. I want to be nice to people because I am a nice person, not because I want to meet a quota.
When me and my wife were shopping for rings, we had some turd going all salesman on us. After we left, we both said we didn't want to give them our business. Just tell us what you have, and we will make our own decision. Don't pretend to be my buddy either, because all you really want is my money. You don't really like me, you didn't invite me to any barbecue's you had at your house. We haven't know each other for years, so stop acting like we are friends.
Sorry, but salespeople frustrate me. That's why becoming one scares me.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Calling in Sick
I haven't posted in a long time. I've had a lot of stuff going on, and didn't have time to get on the computer. But here is the recap in hyperfast instant replay!
In the past 2 weeks I meet my fiancees parents for the first time, got married, and started a new job today.
Wow that was a hyperfast recap!
I am married now, which is way better than not being married. It is good to know that I found the right woman and that I get to be with her forever. Plus, there are certain perks that come with being married. *wink wink*
Any who, at my new job I have access to the Internet, which means more blogs and more slacking off. I can't believe those turds at Publix wanted me to work when I was on the clock. Can you believe the nerve?
It made me want to call in sick! But, I am a honest man and would not call in sick unless it was so. Which gave me an idea. I figured out how to call in sick not be lying!
Lets say that you wake up in the morning and just can't cope with the fact that you have to work. You say to yourself "I wish I was sick and about to vomit, so I could call in sick." Well now you can be that sick whenever you want. Here is how it is done.
Get in your car and drive to you local KFC. Preferably one with the buffet. If they don't have the buffet, be sure to buy some original recipe for quicker more violent results.
But, for those of you who find a KFC with a buffet, you will want to eat from it. Stay around the "chicken" side of the buffet, and avoid the salad. Eat some original recipe, be sure to get some chicken livers too. I would say that two trips to the bar ought to be enough. Just don't go back for thirds, because you just want to call in sick, not get a hospital bill.
At this point you can choose to call in, or better yet, show up at work like your ready to work. While calling in would probably do, nothing is better than to have your employer actually see the sweat pouring down from your face. There is no way your boss can say you are faking after he sees the green hue your skin tone has now become. You may need someone to drive you home because you will have most likely lost most of the feeling in your legs by now.
Well, you did it. You are now home sick. Was it worth it you lazy bastard?
In the past 2 weeks I meet my fiancees parents for the first time, got married, and started a new job today.
Wow that was a hyperfast recap!
I am married now, which is way better than not being married. It is good to know that I found the right woman and that I get to be with her forever. Plus, there are certain perks that come with being married. *wink wink*
Any who, at my new job I have access to the Internet, which means more blogs and more slacking off. I can't believe those turds at Publix wanted me to work when I was on the clock. Can you believe the nerve?
It made me want to call in sick! But, I am a honest man and would not call in sick unless it was so. Which gave me an idea. I figured out how to call in sick not be lying!
Lets say that you wake up in the morning and just can't cope with the fact that you have to work. You say to yourself "I wish I was sick and about to vomit, so I could call in sick." Well now you can be that sick whenever you want. Here is how it is done.
Get in your car and drive to you local KFC. Preferably one with the buffet. If they don't have the buffet, be sure to buy some original recipe for quicker more violent results.
But, for those of you who find a KFC with a buffet, you will want to eat from it. Stay around the "chicken" side of the buffet, and avoid the salad. Eat some original recipe, be sure to get some chicken livers too. I would say that two trips to the bar ought to be enough. Just don't go back for thirds, because you just want to call in sick, not get a hospital bill.
At this point you can choose to call in, or better yet, show up at work like your ready to work. While calling in would probably do, nothing is better than to have your employer actually see the sweat pouring down from your face. There is no way your boss can say you are faking after he sees the green hue your skin tone has now become. You may need someone to drive you home because you will have most likely lost most of the feeling in your legs by now.
Well, you did it. You are now home sick. Was it worth it you lazy bastard?
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Blogging for the Sake of Blogging 3:Blogging with Avengence
It's a rainy Wednesday, and my ass is damp. "How is your ass damp, Fedge?" you might ask. Well the windows in my brothers car, don't go all the way up. Did I say windows? I meant window. The window on the front seat passenger side. We went to Adam's Ribs to eat lunch, which was great, their collard greens are usually awesome. Anyway, when we left my seat was soaked, and shortly afterwards, so was my butt.
A friend of my dad's business was eating there as well. There was some song on the radio that I don't know anything about. The friend of the business asked my brother if he knew who was singing the song. My reply was "Leonard Zeppelin."
Here at the office we are packing all kinds of crap up to sell. Most of which isn't working, and is covered in a dusty goo. Now that I think of it, I don't think there can be such a thing as a dusty goo. Wouldn't the dust get into the goo? The dust would then be stuck and it couldn't mess up my sinuses. I guess the phones are really covered in a goo that is filled with dust.
Our Secretary got back from Arizona today. She got me a nice shirt that says "Arizona" on it. I have never been to Arizona, but now I can pretend.
Now that I am think of it, I might not have put deodorant on today! Luckily it looks like the only place I will be stinking up before I get a chance to shower is the office. But, it often has a much worse smell coming from it long before I get there.
In conclusion, I really need to think harder before I sit down to write a blog.
A friend of my dad's business was eating there as well. There was some song on the radio that I don't know anything about. The friend of the business asked my brother if he knew who was singing the song. My reply was "Leonard Zeppelin."
Here at the office we are packing all kinds of crap up to sell. Most of which isn't working, and is covered in a dusty goo. Now that I think of it, I don't think there can be such a thing as a dusty goo. Wouldn't the dust get into the goo? The dust would then be stuck and it couldn't mess up my sinuses. I guess the phones are really covered in a goo that is filled with dust.
Our Secretary got back from Arizona today. She got me a nice shirt that says "Arizona" on it. I have never been to Arizona, but now I can pretend.
Now that I am think of it, I might not have put deodorant on today! Luckily it looks like the only place I will be stinking up before I get a chance to shower is the office. But, it often has a much worse smell coming from it long before I get there.
In conclusion, I really need to think harder before I sit down to write a blog.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Get Me to The Office on Time!
Right now it's 9:35 am in the morning on Thursday. I was told yesterday, by my brother and father, to be at the office by 9:00 am, "So, we can get an early start." Well, here I am, writing a blog with no one around to get me to do work. My brothers not here. My dad is not here. Its just me and my blog hanging out. This is not the first time this has happened. As a matter of fact, I can't recall a time when I was told to be at the office at a certian time, and the people who told me to be there were also on time. But thats O.K. becuase I have recieved 8 or so calls this morning from my brother, dad, and our secretary telling me "I'm on the way", "I'm running a little late", or "I be there in a bit". Yeah! Now, I am finishing this post, and it is 9:44 am, and my dad just pulled in.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Today is a Day of the Week.
"Sorry Fedge, but your readers are on another blog." said Toadstool
Today is the day that New Mario Bros. for the Nintendo DS comes out. I have to go to Ocala for a job, but on the way I plan on stomping by my local video game supplier and picking up a copy. Then, for the rest of the day I will be stomping on turtles and beating the ever loving crap out of Bowser. Yes, I have wonderful evening planed for my self. In all reality though I will most likely just play it for an hour or so. I plan on using more of my free time enjoying the company of my girlfriend. Play video games all day is overrated when you are dating the best woman on the planet.
Today is the day that New Mario Bros. for the Nintendo DS comes out. I have to go to Ocala for a job, but on the way I plan on stomping by my local video game supplier and picking up a copy. Then, for the rest of the day I will be stomping on turtles and beating the ever loving crap out of Bowser. Yes, I have wonderful evening planed for my self. In all reality though I will most likely just play it for an hour or so. I plan on using more of my free time enjoying the company of my girlfriend. Play video games all day is overrated when you are dating the best woman on the planet.
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