I notice that one of my last post before taking this blogging sabbatical was a scathing review of The Last Mimzy.
I know it's much easier to write reviews for bad movies, so here are some good movies I have watched recently. Now keep in mind I don't go to the theater much at all any more, so these are most likely movies that have been out a while.
Penelope
How about starting off with a movie that will get people to call you gay for liking? Well stuff you! This movie was pretty good. It was so nice to see Christina Ricci in a movie where she wasn't playing a tramp, (ex: Black Snake Moan, and Buffalo 66). I say this because when I was 13 a movie came out called Adams Family Values. I don't know why, but I had a crush on Wednesday Adams. One of my first crushes I can remember. Her long black hair and foreboding attitude was something I liked. It was so disappointing to she her grow up to play such ho bags, there in defiling my childhood. Fortunately, she cleans up for her role in Penelope and is in a film I actually enjoy.
Ricci plays the title character, Penelope. Penelope's bloodline was cursed many generations ago by a witch. The next daughter born into the family would reap the detriment of said curse. Well it took a long while for someone in that family to finally sire a daughter, but when they did our Penelope happens to be the cursed child. Her curse? Basically Penelope has a pigs nose and pig ears. Other than that Penelope is modestly dressed, has long black hair, and despite her physical deformities still looks really pretty.
This movie unfortunately falls short by leaning on a Romantic comedy cliche. Guy says I'm this way, but he's not. Girl falls in love with Guy. Girl finds out guy is not who he says he is. Girl leaves guy. Guy shows girl he really loves her.
Despite this, it is still a fun movie to watch.
Star Trek
Yep, I went to the movie theater to see this one. And boy, was it worth it. I would have to see it again to give it thorough praise, but the casting, writing, and action sequences were awesome. I'm not a die hard Trekkie, but I know enough of the mythos to appreciate this movie.
My Name is Bruce
I know I said I wouldn't do any bad movies, but this is worth watching if you like Bruce Campbell. But only once.
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Friday, May 15, 2009
Thursday, February 14, 2008
The Last Mimzy
Today I finished watching The Last Mimzy. I am glad it's the last one. Because if they made another, I would have to punch someone in the face.
Where the hell to begin? Well, after I finished watching it, I couldn't stop saying, "Wow, that sucked ass!"
Ahhh! ASS!
Ok, now that that is out of the way, I can tell you why.
First off, the acting. Now, I understand that anytime you have kid actors in a movie, you kind of have to get over that acting of the kids. But, something has to be said about the way they were directed. The main problem was the boy. He really was dead pan throughout most of the movie. Picture this, it's the end of the movie and all hell is breaking loose. His sister ask him to grab this generator thing. His response is, "Yeah, OK." Like the freaking world isn't about to end. Whatever with that crap.
Secondly, the story was ridiculously incoherent. The two kids are on a beach and they find this box full of stones and crap. Also in the box is a stuffed animal bunny named Mimzy. While the kids are playing around with the crap they found they soon realize that the objects inside are unusual to say the least. The rabbit they found starts talking to the little girl. And the stones they found are making the boy a genius at talking to spiders. He uses his ability to talk to insects and arachnids to make them build a bridge for a science fair project. Why he didn't try to take over the world, I will never know.
Anyway, that generator thing shuts down half of Washington states power, there by alerting the FBI. The FBI arrest the kids and their parents, and soon discover that the talking bunny has artificial life. Who gave this bunny artificial life? Well that would be the good folks down at Intel. Yep, Intel. The bunny had "Intel inside". I will wait while you let that sink in...
I hope you have now gotten the phrase "sucks ass" out of you system now, cause it gets better.
Well, with the Intel discovery the FBI is now totally confused. Turns out some one from the future sent all this crap to the past. Not really a surprise, they kind of tell you that from the get;
Well, all of the sudden the kids can now talk to each other with their minds. So they easily escape. The little boy of no more than nine years of age high jacks a truck, in the FBI parking lot I might add, that just so happened to still have the keys in it. Or... maybe the bunny taught the kid how to hot wire. They never really lay that out for you. Not just any truck, a big ass bread truck that could have only been a manual. Now how many of us hopped in a standard transmission car for the first time and just drove off. Not me.
Two words, Su-hucks Ass*.
So the kids escape so they can send Mimzy back to where she came from. Which begs the question. Why the hell did the furture send her here in the first place? HUN? Well, through a series of events way too complicated to write and way too boring to read, they send Mimzy back.
Well, at the end of the movie there is a little sequence from the future where the bunny returns. And because the bunny returns the future is restored. Restored from what? They never really say. But from what I gather, everyone in the future is a jerk. So this guy sends the bunny back to see if any one in the past will send it back to the future. Which if some one sends it back to the future it means that not everyone sucks. And since everyone doesn't suck, all the people that do suck, won't suck anymore. Perfect since!
AHHHHHH!!! Brian hurt.
My buddy Von Urrich gives movie a letter grade. Well, I am kicking this movie out of school. You don't even get a F. To give this movie a F, would be an insult to all the F's I got in school.
So, yeah definitely rent this one if you like Stay, Donnie Darko, or The Matrix.
*Su-hucks is a trademark of Dumb Stuff I Wrote. It may not be republish with out the expressed written consent of Dumb Stuff I Wrote.
Where the hell to begin? Well, after I finished watching it, I couldn't stop saying, "Wow, that sucked ass!"
Ahhh! ASS!
Ok, now that that is out of the way, I can tell you why.
First off, the acting. Now, I understand that anytime you have kid actors in a movie, you kind of have to get over that acting of the kids. But, something has to be said about the way they were directed. The main problem was the boy. He really was dead pan throughout most of the movie. Picture this, it's the end of the movie and all hell is breaking loose. His sister ask him to grab this generator thing. His response is, "Yeah, OK." Like the freaking world isn't about to end. Whatever with that crap.
Secondly, the story was ridiculously incoherent. The two kids are on a beach and they find this box full of stones and crap. Also in the box is a stuffed animal bunny named Mimzy. While the kids are playing around with the crap they found they soon realize that the objects inside are unusual to say the least. The rabbit they found starts talking to the little girl. And the stones they found are making the boy a genius at talking to spiders. He uses his ability to talk to insects and arachnids to make them build a bridge for a science fair project. Why he didn't try to take over the world, I will never know.
Anyway, that generator thing shuts down half of Washington states power, there by alerting the FBI. The FBI arrest the kids and their parents, and soon discover that the talking bunny has artificial life. Who gave this bunny artificial life? Well that would be the good folks down at Intel. Yep, Intel. The bunny had "Intel inside". I will wait while you let that sink in...
I hope you have now gotten the phrase "sucks ass" out of you system now, cause it gets better.
Well, with the Intel discovery the FBI is now totally confused. Turns out some one from the future sent all this crap to the past. Not really a surprise, they kind of tell you that from the get;
Well, all of the sudden the kids can now talk to each other with their minds. So they easily escape. The little boy of no more than nine years of age high jacks a truck, in the FBI parking lot I might add, that just so happened to still have the keys in it. Or... maybe the bunny taught the kid how to hot wire. They never really lay that out for you. Not just any truck, a big ass bread truck that could have only been a manual. Now how many of us hopped in a standard transmission car for the first time and just drove off. Not me.
Two words, Su-hucks Ass*.
So the kids escape so they can send Mimzy back to where she came from. Which begs the question. Why the hell did the furture send her here in the first place? HUN? Well, through a series of events way too complicated to write and way too boring to read, they send Mimzy back.
Well, at the end of the movie there is a little sequence from the future where the bunny returns. And because the bunny returns the future is restored. Restored from what? They never really say. But from what I gather, everyone in the future is a jerk. So this guy sends the bunny back to see if any one in the past will send it back to the future. Which if some one sends it back to the future it means that not everyone sucks. And since everyone doesn't suck, all the people that do suck, won't suck anymore. Perfect since!
AHHHHHH!!! Brian hurt.
My buddy Von Urrich gives movie a letter grade. Well, I am kicking this movie out of school. You don't even get a F. To give this movie a F, would be an insult to all the F's I got in school.
So, yeah definitely rent this one if you like Stay, Donnie Darko, or The Matrix.
*Su-hucks is a trademark of Dumb Stuff I Wrote. It may not be republish with out the expressed written consent of Dumb Stuff I Wrote.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Best of 2007
Start the year off right, with a post.
Last year I did a list of the best books, music, and movies. I am going to do things a little bit different this year. I am going to do best of 07, "Dumb Stuff" style! What I mean by that is, there will be weird categories, like Best Prank Call. Also, if I do a best of 2007 movie or book, it doesn't unnecessarily mean that said movie or book came out in 07, it just took me to 07 to get to it. Let's begin.
Best Movie
Without question, Pan's Labyrinth. Dark, violent, and satisfying. Not because it was dark or violent, but because it was a perfectly told story. It was dark where it needed to be. It was violent where it needed to be. It was brilliantly acted. It stayed with me long after I finish watching it. Great movie.
Best CD
The Reminder by Feist. Not to toot my own horn... well actually, to toot my own horn, I was listening to Feist long before she did that iPod commercial. Granted her last album was no where near as good as this one. There are a few songs that suck, like Sea Lion, but for the most part the album is wonderful.
Worst Book Concepts
Manliness books. Books written by dudes that think it is manly to act like a moron. I forgot the title of the book, but it was something to the effect of The Handbook to Manliness. It features illustrated instructions on how to properly punch another man in the balls, head butt a woman in the breast, and how to grope a random woman at a concert. Classy stuff. If I saw a dude randomly groping unsuspecting women, I would use the punch in the balls techniques on dude.
Best Video Game
NHL 08. The best sports game in years! Flawless in gameplay, great graphics, and tons of play modes. The only not perfect thing about this game is the presentation. But as long as the game plays great, I not be carin'.
Best Prank Call
Normally when I prank call a friend, I assume that they will know it is me right away. So, I usually go for funny over actually trying to trick them into thinking it is real.
Enter Jason, a new friend from work.
We both work together and we both have voice mail at work. A recipe of awesome.
I was at the house one evening when I had this great idea for a prank call. I called him, again, totally assuming that I would be busted as soon as I started speaking, and left a voice mail for him. I did a Kip from Napoleon Dynamite voice for this one.
It went a little something like this.
Yes Jason, this is Felix. I called you last week about setting up an account with you. We had a good talk. I told you that I liked figure skating and you said you liked it too. I told you my favorite skater was Michelle Kwan, and you said your was Danny Bonaduce. I thought this was cool and you sold me some stuff.
Well come to find out, after doing some research on your favorite skater, I found out the Danny Bonaduce was an actor on the Partridge Family. So you lied to me!
Now usually when I make a prank call, if my cover isn't blow right from the get, it gets blown when I mention Danny Bonaduce. Anyway, he didn't know it was be until the very end. After a good laugh we did that only thing left to do. Play it for out supervisors and pretend it was real. They both bought it. It was great.
Last on Board Award...
...goes to me finally reading Harry Potter. Well not reading technically. I did check out the audio books from the library and listen to them on a few trips we took this year. Yes they are great, but I am not hooked like other people. I have gone through the first six books. I am waiting for the library to get the last book back in. If I were truly hooked I would have read my wifes copy of the last book by now.
Best Dump
June 16 at 6:15pm. Amazing!
Worst Months for Blogging
September and December: Zero Post.
Best Book
I said it last year, I don't really read books in the year they come out. That being said, I don't know what the best book I read was this year. So, here are some highlights.
Knight Life by Peter David
War of Gifts by Orson Scott Card
Tears of Artamon Trilogy by Sarah Ash
Last Colony by John Scalzi
Ok, that's it. I going to bed. Happy New Year.
Last year I did a list of the best books, music, and movies. I am going to do things a little bit different this year. I am going to do best of 07, "Dumb Stuff" style! What I mean by that is, there will be weird categories, like Best Prank Call. Also, if I do a best of 2007 movie or book, it doesn't unnecessarily mean that said movie or book came out in 07, it just took me to 07 to get to it. Let's begin.
Best Movie
Without question, Pan's Labyrinth. Dark, violent, and satisfying. Not because it was dark or violent, but because it was a perfectly told story. It was dark where it needed to be. It was violent where it needed to be. It was brilliantly acted. It stayed with me long after I finish watching it. Great movie.
Best CD
The Reminder by Feist. Not to toot my own horn... well actually, to toot my own horn, I was listening to Feist long before she did that iPod commercial. Granted her last album was no where near as good as this one. There are a few songs that suck, like Sea Lion, but for the most part the album is wonderful.
Worst Book Concepts
Manliness books. Books written by dudes that think it is manly to act like a moron. I forgot the title of the book, but it was something to the effect of The Handbook to Manliness. It features illustrated instructions on how to properly punch another man in the balls, head butt a woman in the breast, and how to grope a random woman at a concert. Classy stuff. If I saw a dude randomly groping unsuspecting women, I would use the punch in the balls techniques on dude.
Best Video Game
NHL 08. The best sports game in years! Flawless in gameplay, great graphics, and tons of play modes. The only not perfect thing about this game is the presentation. But as long as the game plays great, I not be carin'.
Best Prank Call
Normally when I prank call a friend, I assume that they will know it is me right away. So, I usually go for funny over actually trying to trick them into thinking it is real.
Enter Jason, a new friend from work.
We both work together and we both have voice mail at work. A recipe of awesome.
I was at the house one evening when I had this great idea for a prank call. I called him, again, totally assuming that I would be busted as soon as I started speaking, and left a voice mail for him. I did a Kip from Napoleon Dynamite voice for this one.
It went a little something like this.
Yes Jason, this is Felix. I called you last week about setting up an account with you. We had a good talk. I told you that I liked figure skating and you said you liked it too. I told you my favorite skater was Michelle Kwan, and you said your was Danny Bonaduce. I thought this was cool and you sold me some stuff.
Well come to find out, after doing some research on your favorite skater, I found out the Danny Bonaduce was an actor on the Partridge Family. So you lied to me!
Now usually when I make a prank call, if my cover isn't blow right from the get, it gets blown when I mention Danny Bonaduce. Anyway, he didn't know it was be until the very end. After a good laugh we did that only thing left to do. Play it for out supervisors and pretend it was real. They both bought it. It was great.
Last on Board Award...
...goes to me finally reading Harry Potter. Well not reading technically. I did check out the audio books from the library and listen to them on a few trips we took this year. Yes they are great, but I am not hooked like other people. I have gone through the first six books. I am waiting for the library to get the last book back in. If I were truly hooked I would have read my wifes copy of the last book by now.
Best Dump
June 16 at 6:15pm. Amazing!
Worst Months for Blogging
September and December: Zero Post.
Best Book
I said it last year, I don't really read books in the year they come out. That being said, I don't know what the best book I read was this year. So, here are some highlights.
Knight Life by Peter David
War of Gifts by Orson Scott Card
Tears of Artamon Trilogy by Sarah Ash
Last Colony by John Scalzi
Ok, that's it. I going to bed. Happy New Year.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Evan Almighty
Evan Almighty is the best movie I have seen all year. It's funny and serious. It balances both perfectly.
I can easily say the Evan Almighty is better than Bruce Almighty. The story is better, the acting is better, and the emotion of the film is better. The only thing bad that can be said about it is it's not as funny as Bruce Almighty.
The biggest difference in the movie is, of course, the main character. Jim Carey is an over actor, a funny over actor. Steve Carell is a great actor. Funny, but subtly so. His comedy doesn't demand all of your attention. Thats why the movie isn't as funny as the first.
It is his great acting that takes a ridiculous situation and makes you care about what is going on. So, Evan is Moses. That concept is a hard one to work with, other than making it slap stick comedy. By the end of the movie, I was fully engrossed. I cared about what Evan had sacrificed to build the ark. I needed him to be right so the people who mocked him building the boat would be proven wrong.
I overheard a lady leaving the theater say that it was way better than the first one. "I was tearing up." The end of the movie is awesome. Great special effects help bring the movie to an awesome climax that is the icing for this sweet pastry of a movie.
Their is so much more so say, but dang, just go see it.
I can easily say the Evan Almighty is better than Bruce Almighty. The story is better, the acting is better, and the emotion of the film is better. The only thing bad that can be said about it is it's not as funny as Bruce Almighty.
The biggest difference in the movie is, of course, the main character. Jim Carey is an over actor, a funny over actor. Steve Carell is a great actor. Funny, but subtly so. His comedy doesn't demand all of your attention. Thats why the movie isn't as funny as the first.
It is his great acting that takes a ridiculous situation and makes you care about what is going on. So, Evan is Moses. That concept is a hard one to work with, other than making it slap stick comedy. By the end of the movie, I was fully engrossed. I cared about what Evan had sacrificed to build the ark. I needed him to be right so the people who mocked him building the boat would be proven wrong.
I overheard a lady leaving the theater say that it was way better than the first one. "I was tearing up." The end of the movie is awesome. Great special effects help bring the movie to an awesome climax that is the icing for this sweet pastry of a movie.
Their is so much more so say, but dang, just go see it.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Summer Movies and Fantasy Football
Here we go!
Friday is the official start of the Summer blockbusters. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer!
This should be a great summer for movies. We already had Spiderman 3, which I liked. I know some people thought it sucked. Buy those people liked The English Patient. Sooo, their opinion doesn't effect me that much.
Lets run em' down,
Transformers
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Telli-Tubbies take Manhattan
Uhh... um, I thought there was more.
It might just be that I am writing this kind of late at night and my brain doesn't work.
How about some under the radar movies I want to see?
Eagle Vs Shark looks awesome, and so does Hot Rod.
Fantasy Football
Only a complete dork would have his fantasy football league started up in June!
Yes, I have started my next fantasy football group.
We are expanding, hopefully, from 6 to 10 teams this year. With a little bit of encouragement the smack talk will begin early and continue through the football season. I will be the returning champion. With that comes a lot of pressue. All of the Spoon User fans, or "Spoonies", will want to see a repeat performance. Plus Carson Palmer has been on my case about reworking his contract. Shoot, you only played half the year for me. I don't know that I will be bringing him back. As a GM, you need to take a stand once and a while. I can't let my players walk all over me.
Friday is the official start of the Summer blockbusters. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer!
This should be a great summer for movies. We already had Spiderman 3, which I liked. I know some people thought it sucked. Buy those people liked The English Patient. Sooo, their opinion doesn't effect me that much.
Lets run em' down,
Transformers
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Telli-Tubbies take Manhattan
Uhh... um, I thought there was more.
It might just be that I am writing this kind of late at night and my brain doesn't work.
How about some under the radar movies I want to see?
Eagle Vs Shark looks awesome, and so does Hot Rod.
Fantasy Football
Only a complete dork would have his fantasy football league started up in June!
Yes, I have started my next fantasy football group.
We are expanding, hopefully, from 6 to 10 teams this year. With a little bit of encouragement the smack talk will begin early and continue through the football season. I will be the returning champion. With that comes a lot of pressue. All of the Spoon User fans, or "Spoonies", will want to see a repeat performance. Plus Carson Palmer has been on my case about reworking his contract. Shoot, you only played half the year for me. I don't know that I will be bringing him back. As a GM, you need to take a stand once and a while. I can't let my players walk all over me.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
A Review of a Spiderman 3 Review
I saw Spiderman 3 on the Friday that it came out. I had already planed a bunch of crap to say about it. Well, time went by and I forgot all the stuff I wanted to say, so hence, no blog.
Yesterday I was on Orson Scott Card's web page, when I noticed he had posted his very short review of Spidey 3.
Anyone who has read my blog, all both of you, or knows me personally, all both of you, knows that OSC is my favorite author. By reading his reviews he has guided me toward great movies that I would have never seen otherwise. Most notably Spanglish and Finding Neverland. When it comes to book reviews he has suggested very dumpy reads. Most notably Mirror, Mirror by Gregory Maguire.
Any who, sometimes I agree with his views and other times I don't. And thats normal. I have never meet anyone who I agree with completely. Take my buddy Shane. He has great taste in music, but for some reason he really likes the Counting Crows. Eeeewwww!
In Card's review of Spidey 3, he says a couple of things that just annoyed me.
First of which, "[Spiderman 3 has] big special effects sequences designed to sell the videogames." Uhh, what? I thought big special effects sequences were designed to make you oohh, and ahhh. That's what these sequences do. At no point in watching the movie did I feel like I needed to buy the game. It may be because I am a gamer, and I know not to but video games based on movies. Here is a "Fedge" official rule for gaming and movie going. "Don't watch movies based on games, and don't play games based on movies." Follow this simple rule and you will save yourself time, movie, and most likely headaches.
Secondly, "Raimi cast terrific actors in all the leads, and they do a great job." Uhh, no complaints here. Right on. Then he follows it up with this, "I especially salute Topher Grace's entry into the villain category -- if he were in any more scenes he'd steal the movie." Pshh. Whatever? I though James Franco portrayed his character with more depth and believability than any other actor in the film. All Topher had to do was play a whiny little baby. Harry Osborn went through a lot more emotional changes in this film, and Franco played each part with great precision. Card does say in his review that Franco is at his best, which I obviously agree with, but Topher came no where close to stealing the show.
Then he says, "But time after time, the silliness undercut the serious storyline." I can see how you would feel this way, but I thought that it was all really well balanced. Then he said this movie was in the same class as Titanic and Back to the Future. He says that by having so much comedy that it will make Spiderman 3 become less watchable over time, like Titanic and Back to the Future. Which may be true about Spidey 3, but Back to the Future! Back to the Future is infinitely watchable. BTTF is an awesome classic film! GRRR! DON'T put Back to the Future in the same boat as Titanic. (pun intended)
Here is my review of Spiderman 3. It is a great final chapter to the Spiderman films. It is a story centered completely around Peter, Mary Jane, and Harry. The villains are disposable. And as a film about the core three characters, it is wonderful.
Yesterday I was on Orson Scott Card's web page, when I noticed he had posted his very short review of Spidey 3.
Anyone who has read my blog, all both of you, or knows me personally, all both of you, knows that OSC is my favorite author. By reading his reviews he has guided me toward great movies that I would have never seen otherwise. Most notably Spanglish and Finding Neverland. When it comes to book reviews he has suggested very dumpy reads. Most notably Mirror, Mirror by Gregory Maguire.
Any who, sometimes I agree with his views and other times I don't. And thats normal. I have never meet anyone who I agree with completely. Take my buddy Shane. He has great taste in music, but for some reason he really likes the Counting Crows. Eeeewwww!
In Card's review of Spidey 3, he says a couple of things that just annoyed me.
First of which, "[Spiderman 3 has] big special effects sequences designed to sell the videogames." Uhh, what? I thought big special effects sequences were designed to make you oohh, and ahhh. That's what these sequences do. At no point in watching the movie did I feel like I needed to buy the game. It may be because I am a gamer, and I know not to but video games based on movies. Here is a "Fedge" official rule for gaming and movie going. "Don't watch movies based on games, and don't play games based on movies." Follow this simple rule and you will save yourself time, movie, and most likely headaches.
Secondly, "Raimi cast terrific actors in all the leads, and they do a great job." Uhh, no complaints here. Right on. Then he follows it up with this, "I especially salute Topher Grace's entry into the villain category -- if he were in any more scenes he'd steal the movie." Pshh. Whatever? I though James Franco portrayed his character with more depth and believability than any other actor in the film. All Topher had to do was play a whiny little baby. Harry Osborn went through a lot more emotional changes in this film, and Franco played each part with great precision. Card does say in his review that Franco is at his best, which I obviously agree with, but Topher came no where close to stealing the show.
Then he says, "But time after time, the silliness undercut the serious storyline." I can see how you would feel this way, but I thought that it was all really well balanced. Then he said this movie was in the same class as Titanic and Back to the Future. He says that by having so much comedy that it will make Spiderman 3 become less watchable over time, like Titanic and Back to the Future. Which may be true about Spidey 3, but Back to the Future! Back to the Future is infinitely watchable. BTTF is an awesome classic film! GRRR! DON'T put Back to the Future in the same boat as Titanic. (pun intended)
Here is my review of Spiderman 3. It is a great final chapter to the Spiderman films. It is a story centered completely around Peter, Mary Jane, and Harry. The villains are disposable. And as a film about the core three characters, it is wonderful.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
My Sister and Movies
I don't think I could sum my sister up in one blog. But, being that she is one of my three faithful readers, and the fact she has been bugging me to write a blog about her, I will give it a go.
My sister has the most incredible ability. She can pick a film that she wants to see, and no matter how terrible it looks, she can convince me to go watch it with her. Often times I pay for the tickets myself.
The first movie that comes to mind would be Birth staring Nicole Kidman and no one else of note. This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my entire life. There are bad movies that are so bad that they become good. Then there are movies like Birth that are so bad, and take themselves so seriously, that they turn out worse.
Nicole Kidman plays a widow who is about to remarry. Then along comes this kid who claims to be her husband, only in the shape of a very annoying boy. She doesn't believe him at first, but over the course of several boring and painful hours she starts to become convinced that this is indeed her late husband.
Well, come to find out this kid was just joshin'. He found a bunch of love letters and other crap in a box that was written by her husband. So he took it upon himself to try to get in a tub with Nicole Kidman. A feat that he is able to pull off in a scene that will haunt me for the rest of my movie going lifetime. The final scene is Nicole Kidman getting in a big ol' fist fight with the ocean. At this point me and my sister could not contain our laughter. We were the only ones laughing in the room, and that made it all the more enjoyable.
So despite the fact that she can pick out the worst movies in the world and make me go see them, she is one of the best people in the world to go see a bad movie with.
That is of course if she can remember which theater the movie is at. On more that one occasion she would lead us to the wrong theater on the other end of town. It happened enough that we just started to leave early, so that we would have enough time to make it to the other theater if we went to the wrong one first.
To her credit, she did make us go see Napoleon Dynamite before it got all huge. Also, I did take her to go see Thr3e the movie. That was a laugh a minute. We also plan on going to see House, which promises to be worse than Birth. Because of that fact, we can't wait to watch it.
No, this blog doesn't do my sister justice. But it is a start.
My sister has the most incredible ability. She can pick a film that she wants to see, and no matter how terrible it looks, she can convince me to go watch it with her. Often times I pay for the tickets myself.
The first movie that comes to mind would be Birth staring Nicole Kidman and no one else of note. This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my entire life. There are bad movies that are so bad that they become good. Then there are movies like Birth that are so bad, and take themselves so seriously, that they turn out worse.
Nicole Kidman plays a widow who is about to remarry. Then along comes this kid who claims to be her husband, only in the shape of a very annoying boy. She doesn't believe him at first, but over the course of several boring and painful hours she starts to become convinced that this is indeed her late husband.
Well, come to find out this kid was just joshin'. He found a bunch of love letters and other crap in a box that was written by her husband. So he took it upon himself to try to get in a tub with Nicole Kidman. A feat that he is able to pull off in a scene that will haunt me for the rest of my movie going lifetime. The final scene is Nicole Kidman getting in a big ol' fist fight with the ocean. At this point me and my sister could not contain our laughter. We were the only ones laughing in the room, and that made it all the more enjoyable.
So despite the fact that she can pick out the worst movies in the world and make me go see them, she is one of the best people in the world to go see a bad movie with.
That is of course if she can remember which theater the movie is at. On more that one occasion she would lead us to the wrong theater on the other end of town. It happened enough that we just started to leave early, so that we would have enough time to make it to the other theater if we went to the wrong one first.
To her credit, she did make us go see Napoleon Dynamite before it got all huge. Also, I did take her to go see Thr3e the movie. That was a laugh a minute. We also plan on going to see House, which promises to be worse than Birth. Because of that fact, we can't wait to watch it.
No, this blog doesn't do my sister justice. But it is a start.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Lack of Blog:Venom
I am sorry about the lack of blogging lately.
Hey there is a new Spiderman 3 Trailer at IGN.COM.
That is all. Will blog again soon. I hope.
Hey there is a new Spiderman 3 Trailer at IGN.COM.
That is all. Will blog again soon. I hope.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
TMNT
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for those of you who don't know. Although, the new ninja turtles movie takes place after the previous live action films. So, maybe the aren't teenage ninja anymore. I guess that's why they named the movie TMNT. Any who, TMNT is well worth the 10 bucks to get in the door, and I will most likely get it on DVD. It's not amazing, but there are a lot of things done right in TMNT.
After watching the movie, it felt like there were two writers working on this movie. One writing a story about the ongoing power struggle within the team between Leonardo and Raphael, which was written very well. Then a second writer telling the typical end of the world story, which ends up feeling like nothing more than what could have been squeezed into a half hour episode of Ninja Turtles. The Raph and Leo story is resolved about 15 minutes before the end of the movie. Which makes the whole experience feel very anticlimactic. Add in the fact that there was no big final showdown between the good guys and the bad guys, the big "Oh no. The world is in danger" story in the film was all to easily resolved, and the final villians were disposed of with great ease. Add it all together and you are left with disappointment.
It also felt like two different people were writing the puns and gags. Some of them were great. Others are the type of obvious humor you would find on Saturday morning.
Yet, I did say that I would probably buy this movie. That is because the story between Raph and Leo is really well done. Hope this isn't a spoiler, but the best, and most likely only, fight seen you may remember from this movie happens between Raph and Leo. I felt totally involved in what was happening between them. I really can't say more without giving much away. But I can say this, the fight seen in the rain between brothers, single handedly save TMNT.
The animation is really nice looking as well. Most of the human characters have that "Incredibles" look about them. While the Turtles have great detail in there animation but still don't look out of place with their human companions.
I will now reference you back to what I said about Expectations and Disappointment. The more I expect from a movie the easier it is to be left with disappointment. The less I expect from a movie, then I will be more likely I will be pleasantly surprised by it. TMNT falls under the latter. I watched a bunch of clips on IGN, and really thought this movie was going to suck. But, it was good. Which made it feel like it was really good.
It's always good to relive those childhood memories. It is hard to mess up a movie that had the ninja turtles at it's core. TMNT left me wanting more, not completely in a good way, not in a bad way either. Overall, I really think they can do better than this, and I hope they do.
One last thing, do you remember the ending to Batman Begins? You know the part where they lead you to believe that the Joker is going to be in the next movie? Well they have something like that in this movie. The big difference between the two is that the one in Batman made me say, "OH SWEET! THE JOKER!" The one in TMNT made me say, "Uh, they could have been a little more specific." If your a moron what I am about to say may be a spoiler for you.
They hint at Shredder being in the next movie. They do it in a way that isn't very exciting. Hey! At least they tried.
After watching the movie, it felt like there were two writers working on this movie. One writing a story about the ongoing power struggle within the team between Leonardo and Raphael, which was written very well. Then a second writer telling the typical end of the world story, which ends up feeling like nothing more than what could have been squeezed into a half hour episode of Ninja Turtles. The Raph and Leo story is resolved about 15 minutes before the end of the movie. Which makes the whole experience feel very anticlimactic. Add in the fact that there was no big final showdown between the good guys and the bad guys, the big "Oh no. The world is in danger" story in the film was all to easily resolved, and the final villians were disposed of with great ease. Add it all together and you are left with disappointment.
It also felt like two different people were writing the puns and gags. Some of them were great. Others are the type of obvious humor you would find on Saturday morning.
Yet, I did say that I would probably buy this movie. That is because the story between Raph and Leo is really well done. Hope this isn't a spoiler, but the best, and most likely only, fight seen you may remember from this movie happens between Raph and Leo. I felt totally involved in what was happening between them. I really can't say more without giving much away. But I can say this, the fight seen in the rain between brothers, single handedly save TMNT.
The animation is really nice looking as well. Most of the human characters have that "Incredibles" look about them. While the Turtles have great detail in there animation but still don't look out of place with their human companions.
I will now reference you back to what I said about Expectations and Disappointment. The more I expect from a movie the easier it is to be left with disappointment. The less I expect from a movie, then I will be more likely I will be pleasantly surprised by it. TMNT falls under the latter. I watched a bunch of clips on IGN, and really thought this movie was going to suck. But, it was good. Which made it feel like it was really good.
It's always good to relive those childhood memories. It is hard to mess up a movie that had the ninja turtles at it's core. TMNT left me wanting more, not completely in a good way, not in a bad way either. Overall, I really think they can do better than this, and I hope they do.
One last thing, do you remember the ending to Batman Begins? You know the part where they lead you to believe that the Joker is going to be in the next movie? Well they have something like that in this movie. The big difference between the two is that the one in Batman made me say, "OH SWEET! THE JOKER!" The one in TMNT made me say, "Uh, they could have been a little more specific." If your a moron what I am about to say may be a spoiler for you.
They hint at Shredder being in the next movie. They do it in a way that isn't very exciting. Hey! At least they tried.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
All Kinds Of Stuff
I would like to apologize first off for the lack of blogging goodness. It has been a weird month. Plus, I have been watching 24, and that just means it's very difficult to get around to blogging.
Job
I got a new job... again. This time I think it is a good one. I will be sitting on my sweet cheeks and answering phones to talk people into buy stuff. It finally happened, I am a salesman. No, I am not a telemarketer, so just calm down.
I will be only fielding unsolicited calls. To those of you I will be talking to in a couple of weeks, I promise to do my job, without annoying the crap out of you.
I went to the companies job fair to get an interview. Little did I know that they would be testing me.
They gave me a personality test, which they say you can't fail. But, if it look like you fit the personality of an ass, you failed.
Then they gave me a vocabulary and math test. I did well on the vocab, but the math test was timed, and they took away my calculator. This is the year 2007, who uses their brain for math anymore? They gave me 3 minutes to do 40 problems, I got through 4. I HATE MATH!
Luckily, that didn't stop them from hiring me after my amazing interview. 5 minutes in a room with me, who could resist my charm and charisma?
Little Miss Sunshine
My wife borrowed a copy of Little Miss Sunshine from a work associate a few days ago. She knew I was going to try to rent it from Netflix.
It's hard for me to think of all the movies I saw that came out in the year 2006, but I think I can safely say, this was the best.
Hard Science Fiction
I love Sci-fi novels. On occasion, I enjoy a fantasy novel. I have always said, I hate Hard SF. I started reading a book by Jack McDevitt called Deepsix. It is Hard SF, but it is great! (so far)
I am starting to wonder if my problem isn't hard SF stories, by hard SF writers. My biggest problem with hard SF is that the writers are way too heady. They use big words, that I don't care to learn. I don't want to read about a bunch of scientist doing math. I HATE MATH!
About a month ago, I was talking to my friend, Shane, about fiction books. I told him, "I just don't like the hard sf."
He reminded me that Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card was hard SF.
Speaker is one of my favorite books, not because of the hard SF elements, but because of the incredibly well written characters. The story centers around a dysfunctional family. I remembered that most of the members of that family were scientist. I came to the realization that scientist are people too, and Jack McDevitt knows it too.
That's why I am enjoying Deepsix. I love SF, but if the characters aren't well drawn, then I have a hard time reading it.
Job
I got a new job... again. This time I think it is a good one. I will be sitting on my sweet cheeks and answering phones to talk people into buy stuff. It finally happened, I am a salesman. No, I am not a telemarketer, so just calm down.
I will be only fielding unsolicited calls. To those of you I will be talking to in a couple of weeks, I promise to do my job, without annoying the crap out of you.
I went to the companies job fair to get an interview. Little did I know that they would be testing me.
They gave me a personality test, which they say you can't fail. But, if it look like you fit the personality of an ass, you failed.
Then they gave me a vocabulary and math test. I did well on the vocab, but the math test was timed, and they took away my calculator. This is the year 2007, who uses their brain for math anymore? They gave me 3 minutes to do 40 problems, I got through 4. I HATE MATH!
Luckily, that didn't stop them from hiring me after my amazing interview. 5 minutes in a room with me, who could resist my charm and charisma?
Little Miss Sunshine
My wife borrowed a copy of Little Miss Sunshine from a work associate a few days ago. She knew I was going to try to rent it from Netflix.
It's hard for me to think of all the movies I saw that came out in the year 2006, but I think I can safely say, this was the best.
Hard Science Fiction
I love Sci-fi novels. On occasion, I enjoy a fantasy novel. I have always said, I hate Hard SF. I started reading a book by Jack McDevitt called Deepsix. It is Hard SF, but it is great! (so far)
I am starting to wonder if my problem isn't hard SF stories, by hard SF writers. My biggest problem with hard SF is that the writers are way too heady. They use big words, that I don't care to learn. I don't want to read about a bunch of scientist doing math. I HATE MATH!
About a month ago, I was talking to my friend, Shane, about fiction books. I told him, "I just don't like the hard sf."
He reminded me that Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card was hard SF.
Speaker is one of my favorite books, not because of the hard SF elements, but because of the incredibly well written characters. The story centers around a dysfunctional family. I remembered that most of the members of that family were scientist. I came to the realization that scientist are people too, and Jack McDevitt knows it too.
That's why I am enjoying Deepsix. I love SF, but if the characters aren't well drawn, then I have a hard time reading it.
Monday, January 08, 2007
Thr3e: A Movie & Book Review
Thr3e, as a book, awesome. Thr3e, as a movie, cheap.
If you are a Christian, like I am, then you have probably heard the phrase "Don't cast your pearls before swine." If you have something good, don't let some turd with a camera ruin it.
Book: Thr3e the book is fast paced, keeps you guessing, and leaves you satisfied at the end. It is a great story first. At no point during the book do you stop and say, "OK, this is unrealistic, that dialog is cheesy, what the crap was the author thinking." It is just a fantastic novel, regardless of your stance on Christianity. My sister doesn't claim to be a Christian and she thought Thr3e was great, she read it twice.
Movie:While the movie doesn't suffer from trying to be too "Christian", and it never really gets preachy, it just sucks as a movie. The movie was made by Fox Faith, the same people that made a train wreak of a film known as The Visitation (based on the novel by Frank Peretti). Robbie Henson directed both of these movies and is currently working on another movie called House, based on the novel by Ted Dekker and Frank Peretti. House will be a one of a kind film, but more on that later.
The movie suffers most of all from the makers and the actors trying too hard, and sometimes not hard enough. Pretty much every actor in this movie does a piss poor job of delivering a believable performance. If there were any good actors in this film, I couldn't find them. They must have been given bad lines and poor directing, there was certainly plenty of both going around. Not to mention the over acting on a character named Princess. The movie tries to portray Princess as she is in the book, but sometimes you have to tone that stuff down for movies. No matter how serious a moment in a movie, when a old women with too much make-up and a tiara bust on to the screen, it's going to get people to snicker. Then the actress drives it home with an overdone performance.
Most of the Dekker fans I talk to say that Thr3e is there favorite novel. I think it is the best piece of fiction he has done, just because I think anyone could read it and wouldn't have to try to get around a bunch of preachy digressions. It's is also just a great read from start to finish. That being said, why would you give it up to some low budget film makers? Christian movie studios are about 10 years behind in there technology and experience. They are a one way ticket to ruining your story.
Left Behind is the best selling Christian novel of all time. Don't quote me on that, but even if you are not a Christian, you most likely have heard of it. You might have even read it. It had the best chance of turning into a huge Hollywood production. After the success of Passion of the Christ and Narnia, movie studios are more open to doing Christian films. The problem is it is hard to get Christians to go to the movies. Fiction isn't a huge success in the Christian market as it is. There are a handful of novels that have the following that would allow them to be made into a mainstream film. Left Behind would be number one on the list of books that a movie would work for. But, there won't be a good Left Behind movie made. Why? Because the rights have already been sold to a small Christian film company, Cloud Ten Pictures, that put out three sub par films.
If the authors would have waited, and sold there movie rights to a major film maker they would have made a great deal of money. I think it would attract the same crowds that went to see Passion. Most likely not the same ticket sales, but it would be a successful film.
Honestly, Dekker would have probably not been approached by a major company. Even though his books sell well in the Christian market, he doesn't even make a blip on the secular radar. This may be the best version of a film version of Thr3e we could ever hope for. This is the state of Christian media. We write our stories for Christian publishers, we make our movies through Christian companies, and for the most part, the only ones that notice are Christians.
My sister was reading the user movie reviews that were on Fandango. All 15 or so users rated it a must see. I am willing to bet that they are all part of Dekkers "street team". What happens on these street teams is this, lets say Styrafoam releases a new album called "Disappointed Yet?". Then we would get on our myspace and tell all of our friends to go to Amazon.com, where we are selling it, and post a butt load of positive reviews. Now all of the sudden people who just happen upon our crap CD, see all these great reviews.
Granted, there are some people who genuinely like Thr3e the movie. That's cool, whatever. But, the people actually making these movies are convinced that they are producing films every bit as good as the stuff in Hollywood.
Now onto House. House is a book written by two of the premier Christian novelist, Frank Peretti and Ted Dekker. A recipe for a great novel. Only problem is that they have two completely different ways to approach writing a novel. Peretti likes to research his books for months before he even begins the actual writing of the story. Dekker, on the other hand, gets an idea, then he just starts writing, letting the ideas come to him as he writes. While Dekker said in Pages Magazine that he would love to do a sequel with Peretti, Frank said he would never do another collaboration. The fruit of their works ended up being an utterly confusing story that just left me dumbfounded. My sister compares the book to a Sci-fi original movie meets a competitive eating contest. Anyway, the story is weird, and would be very difficult to turn into a movie. But, why would you want to? House the movie is going to be like Baby Geniuses 2, but way more confusing. It will truly be a unique film if nothing else.
I can't wait to see it!
If you are a Christian, like I am, then you have probably heard the phrase "Don't cast your pearls before swine." If you have something good, don't let some turd with a camera ruin it.
Book: Thr3e the book is fast paced, keeps you guessing, and leaves you satisfied at the end. It is a great story first. At no point during the book do you stop and say, "OK, this is unrealistic, that dialog is cheesy, what the crap was the author thinking." It is just a fantastic novel, regardless of your stance on Christianity. My sister doesn't claim to be a Christian and she thought Thr3e was great, she read it twice.
Movie:While the movie doesn't suffer from trying to be too "Christian", and it never really gets preachy, it just sucks as a movie. The movie was made by Fox Faith, the same people that made a train wreak of a film known as The Visitation (based on the novel by Frank Peretti). Robbie Henson directed both of these movies and is currently working on another movie called House, based on the novel by Ted Dekker and Frank Peretti. House will be a one of a kind film, but more on that later.
The movie suffers most of all from the makers and the actors trying too hard, and sometimes not hard enough. Pretty much every actor in this movie does a piss poor job of delivering a believable performance. If there were any good actors in this film, I couldn't find them. They must have been given bad lines and poor directing, there was certainly plenty of both going around. Not to mention the over acting on a character named Princess. The movie tries to portray Princess as she is in the book, but sometimes you have to tone that stuff down for movies. No matter how serious a moment in a movie, when a old women with too much make-up and a tiara bust on to the screen, it's going to get people to snicker. Then the actress drives it home with an overdone performance.
Most of the Dekker fans I talk to say that Thr3e is there favorite novel. I think it is the best piece of fiction he has done, just because I think anyone could read it and wouldn't have to try to get around a bunch of preachy digressions. It's is also just a great read from start to finish. That being said, why would you give it up to some low budget film makers? Christian movie studios are about 10 years behind in there technology and experience. They are a one way ticket to ruining your story.
Left Behind is the best selling Christian novel of all time. Don't quote me on that, but even if you are not a Christian, you most likely have heard of it. You might have even read it. It had the best chance of turning into a huge Hollywood production. After the success of Passion of the Christ and Narnia, movie studios are more open to doing Christian films. The problem is it is hard to get Christians to go to the movies. Fiction isn't a huge success in the Christian market as it is. There are a handful of novels that have the following that would allow them to be made into a mainstream film. Left Behind would be number one on the list of books that a movie would work for. But, there won't be a good Left Behind movie made. Why? Because the rights have already been sold to a small Christian film company, Cloud Ten Pictures, that put out three sub par films.
If the authors would have waited, and sold there movie rights to a major film maker they would have made a great deal of money. I think it would attract the same crowds that went to see Passion. Most likely not the same ticket sales, but it would be a successful film.
Honestly, Dekker would have probably not been approached by a major company. Even though his books sell well in the Christian market, he doesn't even make a blip on the secular radar. This may be the best version of a film version of Thr3e we could ever hope for. This is the state of Christian media. We write our stories for Christian publishers, we make our movies through Christian companies, and for the most part, the only ones that notice are Christians.
My sister was reading the user movie reviews that were on Fandango. All 15 or so users rated it a must see. I am willing to bet that they are all part of Dekkers "street team". What happens on these street teams is this, lets say Styrafoam releases a new album called "Disappointed Yet?". Then we would get on our myspace and tell all of our friends to go to Amazon.com, where we are selling it, and post a butt load of positive reviews. Now all of the sudden people who just happen upon our crap CD, see all these great reviews.
Granted, there are some people who genuinely like Thr3e the movie. That's cool, whatever. But, the people actually making these movies are convinced that they are producing films every bit as good as the stuff in Hollywood.
Now onto House. House is a book written by two of the premier Christian novelist, Frank Peretti and Ted Dekker. A recipe for a great novel. Only problem is that they have two completely different ways to approach writing a novel. Peretti likes to research his books for months before he even begins the actual writing of the story. Dekker, on the other hand, gets an idea, then he just starts writing, letting the ideas come to him as he writes. While Dekker said in Pages Magazine that he would love to do a sequel with Peretti, Frank said he would never do another collaboration. The fruit of their works ended up being an utterly confusing story that just left me dumbfounded. My sister compares the book to a Sci-fi original movie meets a competitive eating contest. Anyway, the story is weird, and would be very difficult to turn into a movie. But, why would you want to? House the movie is going to be like Baby Geniuses 2, but way more confusing. It will truly be a unique film if nothing else.
I can't wait to see it!
Friday, December 08, 2006
The Best of 2006
I hate media. All of it, without exception. Movies, music, games, books, you name it, I can't stand.
Well, except for all the I thought was awesome that came out this year.
Music
Stadium Arcadium by Red Hot Chili Peppers, My Island by Starflyer 59, The Best-Worst Case Scenario by Fair, The Crane Wife by The Decemberist, Get Behind Me Satan by The White Stripes, ...and the Summertime Pool Party by Pigeon John.
Movies
Monster House, Walk the Line, Nanny McPhee, and Superman Returns
Thats about it on the movies this year. Kinda slow year.
Books
I don't read a lot of books on the year they came out. Most of the time I pick them up years down after their release. The books I did read that came out in 2006 were House and Saint by Ted Dekker, The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly, and The Looking Glass Wars by Frank Beddor. The only one I would suggest to you is Looking Glass Wars. It's and alternate version of Alice and Wonderland, and it turned out pretty well.
Games
Year in and year out, my favorite game is usually a sports title, except for the year that Halo 2 came out, and this year. Although NCAA Football 07 is amazing and I still play it a couple times a week.
The best game that came out in 2006 is New Super Mario Bros. It was outselling all other games on all other systems for months. It plays like a dream.
The other great games game of 2006 I played were, Far Cry Instincts (XBox), Yoshi's Island (DS), Tetris (DS), and Club House Games (DS).
In Conclusion
Well, 2006 was awesome. I got married in 2006, what did you do?
Well, except for all the I thought was awesome that came out this year.
Music
Stadium Arcadium by Red Hot Chili Peppers, My Island by Starflyer 59, The Best-Worst Case Scenario by Fair, The Crane Wife by The Decemberist, Get Behind Me Satan by The White Stripes, ...and the Summertime Pool Party by Pigeon John.
Movies
Monster House, Walk the Line, Nanny McPhee, and Superman Returns
Thats about it on the movies this year. Kinda slow year.
Books
I don't read a lot of books on the year they came out. Most of the time I pick them up years down after their release. The books I did read that came out in 2006 were House and Saint by Ted Dekker, The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly, and The Looking Glass Wars by Frank Beddor. The only one I would suggest to you is Looking Glass Wars. It's and alternate version of Alice and Wonderland, and it turned out pretty well.
Games
Year in and year out, my favorite game is usually a sports title, except for the year that Halo 2 came out, and this year. Although NCAA Football 07 is amazing and I still play it a couple times a week.
The best game that came out in 2006 is New Super Mario Bros. It was outselling all other games on all other systems for months. It plays like a dream.
The other great games game of 2006 I played were, Far Cry Instincts (XBox), Yoshi's Island (DS), Tetris (DS), and Club House Games (DS).
In Conclusion
Well, 2006 was awesome. I got married in 2006, what did you do?
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Jolt n' Make Cook with the Furnace or Mute Material which I Wrote or Blogging for the Sake of Blogging 2
Wow long title today.
Just to let everyone know, "Jolt n' Make Cook with the Furnace" is "Shake n' Bake" translated to French translated back to English. Babel Fish is great!
It's raining like a freak today, but the sun is still outside and I'm feeling fine. I get to go on a date tonight with my fiancee, and it's going to be great. I am going to eat some spicy food that will leave my intestines in a jumble. The best part is that I get to go out to eat with a woman who does not care if I spend twenty minutes in the bath room leaving an odor that permeates the strongest of air fresheners.
I also just checked out the new TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) trailer. Oh so sweet. After watching it I realized the genius of doing a Ninja Turtle's Movie in CGI. Now the can make Leonardo do all kind of crazy crap, without the restriction of a heavy turtle outfit.
My A/C is broke in my van and it's unbelievably hot outside. After I get home, I look like I did a butt load of work. When all I really did was make phone calls. Hot mini-van makes me stink as well.
Well, this blog isn't going that great.
In conclusion, uhh... I got nothin'. Have a good day!
Just to let everyone know, "Jolt n' Make Cook with the Furnace" is "Shake n' Bake" translated to French translated back to English. Babel Fish is great!
It's raining like a freak today, but the sun is still outside and I'm feeling fine. I get to go on a date tonight with my fiancee, and it's going to be great. I am going to eat some spicy food that will leave my intestines in a jumble. The best part is that I get to go out to eat with a woman who does not care if I spend twenty minutes in the bath room leaving an odor that permeates the strongest of air fresheners.
I also just checked out the new TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) trailer. Oh so sweet. After watching it I realized the genius of doing a Ninja Turtle's Movie in CGI. Now the can make Leonardo do all kind of crazy crap, without the restriction of a heavy turtle outfit.
My A/C is broke in my van and it's unbelievably hot outside. After I get home, I look like I did a butt load of work. When all I really did was make phone calls. Hot mini-van makes me stink as well.
Well, this blog isn't going that great.
In conclusion, uhh... I got nothin'. Have a good day!
Monday, August 14, 2006
Totally Dorky Complete
It's no secret that I am a complete dork total. I like comic book movies and science fiction novels. If you were to ask me about any of the new superhero movies that are coming out in the near future, I could most likely tell you who is directing it, what films that director has made in the past, and who is staring in it. I know a lot of stuff about video games too. I read most of the game reviews that show up on Gamespot.com and IGN.com. I should really find something else to spend my time researching.
I could read up on astro-physics, computer networking, or the anatomy of Shake n' Bake. Does it do me any good to know this stuff about movies? I don't think so, it just makes me look like a complete dork total.
Most of my friends spend hours each week playing World of Warcraft. Then, they feel the need to let me know about all the boring stuff they did in the game. I don't care what level your paladin is. What the hell is a paladin anyway?
A couple of days ago, I was dorking out on the phone with my fiancee. Some how I got on the topic of my favorite video game, NCAA Football 07. I talked about all the stuff you could do in dynasty mode. How when your players graduate you can export them to your hard drive, (memory card if you don't own a XBOX) then draft them in that years copy of MADDEN. I just went on and on. That's when she pointed out to me that I was a dork. It's true, I am the type of guy who stays up till midnight the day before the release of MADDEN just to be one of the first to own a copy. I am a complete dork total. Who am I to make fun of World of Warcraft freaks?
You might find yourself wondering why I use the phrase "complete dork total". Well, that would be a reference to a thirty minute movie that only 7 people have seen (all of which were introduced to the movie by me) called The Blair Thumb.
What you haven't heard of it? I am not surprised.
As you could guess, it is a spoof of the film The Blair Witch. The Blair Thumb was created by a guy named Steve Oedekerk. Oedekerk is, in my opinion, the funniest comedy writer in Hollywood. Only a handful of people share my opinion.
Back to the reference. The three main characters are in a tent in the woods. When out of nowhere they are attacked by a shark. Thats right a shark in the woods. After the incident, Stressy (the girl in the group), tries to explain to Vic and Jish (such an odd name) that it was not a shark. To which Vic replies "It was totally sharky... complete". That is great comedy writing if I have ever heard it.
I mean, I am not even quoting the movie correctly. Totally Dorky Complete? You have to admit that is really lame. I can't hide from it, I am totally dorky complete.
I could read up on astro-physics, computer networking, or the anatomy of Shake n' Bake. Does it do me any good to know this stuff about movies? I don't think so, it just makes me look like a complete dork total.
Most of my friends spend hours each week playing World of Warcraft. Then, they feel the need to let me know about all the boring stuff they did in the game. I don't care what level your paladin is. What the hell is a paladin anyway?
A couple of days ago, I was dorking out on the phone with my fiancee. Some how I got on the topic of my favorite video game, NCAA Football 07. I talked about all the stuff you could do in dynasty mode. How when your players graduate you can export them to your hard drive, (memory card if you don't own a XBOX) then draft them in that years copy of MADDEN. I just went on and on. That's when she pointed out to me that I was a dork. It's true, I am the type of guy who stays up till midnight the day before the release of MADDEN just to be one of the first to own a copy. I am a complete dork total. Who am I to make fun of World of Warcraft freaks?
You might find yourself wondering why I use the phrase "complete dork total". Well, that would be a reference to a thirty minute movie that only 7 people have seen (all of which were introduced to the movie by me) called The Blair Thumb.
What you haven't heard of it? I am not surprised.
As you could guess, it is a spoof of the film The Blair Witch. The Blair Thumb was created by a guy named Steve Oedekerk. Oedekerk is, in my opinion, the funniest comedy writer in Hollywood. Only a handful of people share my opinion.
Back to the reference. The three main characters are in a tent in the woods. When out of nowhere they are attacked by a shark. Thats right a shark in the woods. After the incident, Stressy (the girl in the group), tries to explain to Vic and Jish (such an odd name) that it was not a shark. To which Vic replies "It was totally sharky... complete". That is great comedy writing if I have ever heard it.
I mean, I am not even quoting the movie correctly. Totally Dorky Complete? You have to admit that is really lame. I can't hide from it, I am totally dorky complete.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Kid's Movies
I have been known to enjoy a good kid's movie.
This may come as a shock to most people, but I was once a kid myself. And as a kid I watched a lot of cartoons. When I was under the age of 10 I watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Silver Hawks, Thundercats, Transformers, and all other kinds of great cartoons. I loved the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, I even liked the one with Vanilla Ice.
I also enjoyed a great deal of the Disney movies, Sleeping Beauty, Lady and the Tramp, and my favorite Jungle Book.
Well, as it turns out, there is a slew of classic cartoons being remade into movies. The main 2 being Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Transformers. And yes, I have every intention on seeing both of them.
The Ninja Turtles movie is going to be created in CGI. From what I have read online the creators are going back to the roots of the show, back to what made it great in the first place. I am really looking forward to what they are going to do with it.
On the other side, the Transformers movie looks like the makers are taking more of a gritty realistic approach. I would guess the Transformers themselves will be computer animated, but it seems like there will be live action actors. Most likely the real footage, mixed with CGI.
I don't know much more about these two movies right now, but I am believing that said films will bring a stop to the steaming piles of crap that have been coming out of the computer animated kid department as of late.
The last great kid's movie, I believe, was The Incredibles.
Not since then has there been a children's movie worth seeing.
The one saving grace for this summer may just be Monster House. I have read a few reviews, one by Orson Scott Card, all of them say Monster House is the best kid's movie to come along in recent memory. I am excited to see it.
But if you, the pretend faithful reader I have made up in my mind, are wanting to see a great kid's movie that both you and your kids will enjoy. Might I suggest Nanny McPhee? Me and my fiancee have seen it multiple times, and I enjoyed it every time. The kids are well casted, the screenplay is flawless, and the acting is top notch. And since it is not in theatres, you will most likely be watching it on DVD. In that case I would suggest you watch it twice, once as the film was shown in theatres, and once with the director and kids commentary. You won't be sorry.
This may come as a shock to most people, but I was once a kid myself. And as a kid I watched a lot of cartoons. When I was under the age of 10 I watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Silver Hawks, Thundercats, Transformers, and all other kinds of great cartoons. I loved the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, I even liked the one with Vanilla Ice.
I also enjoyed a great deal of the Disney movies, Sleeping Beauty, Lady and the Tramp, and my favorite Jungle Book.
Well, as it turns out, there is a slew of classic cartoons being remade into movies. The main 2 being Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Transformers. And yes, I have every intention on seeing both of them.
The Ninja Turtles movie is going to be created in CGI. From what I have read online the creators are going back to the roots of the show, back to what made it great in the first place. I am really looking forward to what they are going to do with it.
On the other side, the Transformers movie looks like the makers are taking more of a gritty realistic approach. I would guess the Transformers themselves will be computer animated, but it seems like there will be live action actors. Most likely the real footage, mixed with CGI.
I don't know much more about these two movies right now, but I am believing that said films will bring a stop to the steaming piles of crap that have been coming out of the computer animated kid department as of late.
The last great kid's movie, I believe, was The Incredibles.
Not since then has there been a children's movie worth seeing.
The one saving grace for this summer may just be Monster House. I have read a few reviews, one by Orson Scott Card, all of them say Monster House is the best kid's movie to come along in recent memory. I am excited to see it.
But if you, the pretend faithful reader I have made up in my mind, are wanting to see a great kid's movie that both you and your kids will enjoy. Might I suggest Nanny McPhee? Me and my fiancee have seen it multiple times, and I enjoyed it every time. The kids are well casted, the screenplay is flawless, and the acting is top notch. And since it is not in theatres, you will most likely be watching it on DVD. In that case I would suggest you watch it twice, once as the film was shown in theatres, and once with the director and kids commentary. You won't be sorry.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Not Reeve, Not Nicholson
"This is not really a review" said Fedge.
First off, Superman Returns is great. You will enjoy it, maybe. If you were a fan of the first two movies and not the last two Reeves movies, then you will be happy to know that Superman Returns ignores Superman 3 and Superman 4. The first clue of this is when you realize that Lois Lane has no idea that Superman is Clark Kent. Once you get over this small speed bump you will be ready to enjoy Superman Returns... maybe.
You see, every review I have read so far has one thing in common. "Routh is no Reeve." I am so glad every movie critic was there to remind me of this. I forgot completely that Christopher Reeve passed away. That's sarcasm if you didn't know.
We all know that Brandon Routh is not the same dude who was in the original films. If you go into the movie looking for an actor to do his best impression of Christopher Reeve, then you will be disappointed. But if you are looking for an actor to do his best impression of Superman/Clark Kent, then you are in for a treat. Routh is great at playing Superman and even better at playing Clark Kent. He plays Clark Kent like none other, that's right better than Chris.
Kate Bosworth is just as bad a playing Lois Lane as Margot Kidder was by the way.
Kevin Spacey is, as I suspected, perfect as Lex Luthor.
But, this is not really meant to be a review so to speak. What I really want to say is this. Why do movie critics compare Routh to Reeve? Routh is not playing Reeve, he is playing Superman. It seems everyone who loves the original Superman films will not except another actor playing Superman. Even if he is better suited for the role. There are some who may compare Gene Hackman to Kevin Spacey. In my mind there really is no competition. Spacey makes a better Lex Luthor. Spacey does not make a great Gene Hackman, and that's good, because he is playing Lex. I hope I am making my point clear.
Which leads me to Batman Begins 2 , which will most likely not be the title of the movie.
Joker is slated to be the villian in the next Batman movie. The Joker is by far my favorite comic book character. As most of us know the last theatrical portral of the Joker was played by Jack Nicholson. And while I agree it will be hard for someone to play the Joker better than Nicholson, I am not going to close minded about another actor in the role. The Joker can still be done better. I don't know how or by whom, but there is still room for improvment. I don't plan on going into the movie to compare the two actors. I just want to see how well the actor playing the Joker, plays the Joker.
First off, Superman Returns is great. You will enjoy it, maybe. If you were a fan of the first two movies and not the last two Reeves movies, then you will be happy to know that Superman Returns ignores Superman 3 and Superman 4. The first clue of this is when you realize that Lois Lane has no idea that Superman is Clark Kent. Once you get over this small speed bump you will be ready to enjoy Superman Returns... maybe.
You see, every review I have read so far has one thing in common. "Routh is no Reeve." I am so glad every movie critic was there to remind me of this. I forgot completely that Christopher Reeve passed away. That's sarcasm if you didn't know.
We all know that Brandon Routh is not the same dude who was in the original films. If you go into the movie looking for an actor to do his best impression of Christopher Reeve, then you will be disappointed. But if you are looking for an actor to do his best impression of Superman/Clark Kent, then you are in for a treat. Routh is great at playing Superman and even better at playing Clark Kent. He plays Clark Kent like none other, that's right better than Chris.
Kate Bosworth is just as bad a playing Lois Lane as Margot Kidder was by the way.
Kevin Spacey is, as I suspected, perfect as Lex Luthor.
But, this is not really meant to be a review so to speak. What I really want to say is this. Why do movie critics compare Routh to Reeve? Routh is not playing Reeve, he is playing Superman. It seems everyone who loves the original Superman films will not except another actor playing Superman. Even if he is better suited for the role. There are some who may compare Gene Hackman to Kevin Spacey. In my mind there really is no competition. Spacey makes a better Lex Luthor. Spacey does not make a great Gene Hackman, and that's good, because he is playing Lex. I hope I am making my point clear.
Which leads me to Batman Begins 2 , which will most likely not be the title of the movie.
Joker is slated to be the villian in the next Batman movie. The Joker is by far my favorite comic book character. As most of us know the last theatrical portral of the Joker was played by Jack Nicholson. And while I agree it will be hard for someone to play the Joker better than Nicholson, I am not going to close minded about another actor in the role. The Joker can still be done better. I don't know how or by whom, but there is still room for improvment. I don't plan on going into the movie to compare the two actors. I just want to see how well the actor playing the Joker, plays the Joker.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Expectations and Disappointment
"No quote for you!" said Fedge.
Next week the newest of superhero movies comes out, Superman Returns. I have very high expectations for Brian Singer's latest film. I MEAN BIG! If you have read my blog you know that I really liked the last X-Men movie. While most of the professional critics ripped the film apart with true statements about real issues that the film actually had. I agreed with most of thier comments, but I still enjoyed it none the less. The reason was because my expectations were so low. Allow me to illustrate using MS Paint!
I would put my expectations for X-Men 3 at 6. What I got was an 7. A six means I think the movie won't be very good but I will enjoy it none the less. A 7 means that the movie was good. I went in expecting a 6, got a 7, and there for it felt like an 8. Get it? Yeah, neither do I.
But I digress. What I am expecting from Superman Returns is a 9. Pretty lofty. So the only way that I will leave the theatre satisfied is if I get a nine or a ten.
Now you may ask the question, "Why don't you just go in to every movie expecting a one? Then you will like almost every movie you see!" You answered you own question. I went to see Doom. The film adaptation of a gory video game. I expected a 4 and got a 3. Needless to say I was disappointed. Do you realize how embarrassing it would be to tell everyone I know that I liked Doom? I can see it now.
"Hey Jeff, what did you think of Blade 7?"
"Oh I loved it, I like how they picked Chris Tucker to fill in for Wesley Snipes as Blade!"
Or...
"Yo Jeffro, How did you feel about Stay?"
"I really enjoyed how they made it so you couldn't follow the story."
or even...
"Hey J, I just saw Teletubbies take on the Nazi's in 3-D! I know you had to like that!"
"YEAH! Hitler never saw Tinkie Winkie coming!"
Do you see how this could become a problem? If I said every movie was good, then no one would respect my opinion on a movie. Not that they do now. Although, that Teletubbies/Nazi movie does sound pretty good.
Friday, June 09, 2006
We Got the DS Goin' Nuts! and more...
"Eat that you dirty turd burglar!" said Fedge.
Yesterday, I spent the evening with Scott and Raf playing Nintendo DS. Not a big deal you say. I beg to differ, I bought the DS when it came out in 2004. I have only once before yesterday played any multi-player that was not through Nintendo WI-FI. Don't get me wrong it is fun to play over the internet, but when I throw down on Tetris, Mario Kart, and Bomberman, I want to talk some trash. Unfortunately, you can't talk trash over Nintendo WI-FI.
It was so nice to tell Scott to "Stick it!" when I dropped the bomb that killed him in Bomberman. Don't worry though it was all in good fun, when I talk trash all I am doing is enjoying playing with good friends. I am never trying to hurt anyone's feelings. If it makes you feel better Scott told me that I suck a few times last night.
Scott's buddy Richie came over (who is planning on getting a DS Lite when it comes out) as well as Brian, who bought a DS that night.
Yes, people are starting to listen when I say that the Nintendo DS is great. The DS fever is spreading faster than an airborne case of diarrhea. I don't really know what that means but I am sure it is good.
Perfect Cast: Part II
I forgot to mention a few perfect Superhero/Villain castings... so here we go.
Ioan Gruffudd/Mr. Fantastic
I don't know who he is, I have never heard of him before Fantastic Four. The thing is that he is a dead ringer for Reed Richards/Mr. Fantastic.
Colin Farrell/Bulls Eye
Bulls Eye was the best part of the Daredevil movie. I don't really have anything else good to say about Daredevil!
I know that most movie fans didn't like either Fantastic Four or Daredevil, but there were good parts to both films, and while we will most likely not see a sequel to Daredevil a Fantastic Four sequel is in the works. WOOT!
I am in a Band!
I just to let you know that you can check out our music at myspace.com/thestyleofstyrafoam.
I think most people who read this blog already know about us and how awesome we are.
Yesterday, I spent the evening with Scott and Raf playing Nintendo DS. Not a big deal you say. I beg to differ, I bought the DS when it came out in 2004. I have only once before yesterday played any multi-player that was not through Nintendo WI-FI. Don't get me wrong it is fun to play over the internet, but when I throw down on Tetris, Mario Kart, and Bomberman, I want to talk some trash. Unfortunately, you can't talk trash over Nintendo WI-FI.
It was so nice to tell Scott to "Stick it!" when I dropped the bomb that killed him in Bomberman. Don't worry though it was all in good fun, when I talk trash all I am doing is enjoying playing with good friends. I am never trying to hurt anyone's feelings. If it makes you feel better Scott told me that I suck a few times last night.
Scott's buddy Richie came over (who is planning on getting a DS Lite when it comes out) as well as Brian, who bought a DS that night.
Yes, people are starting to listen when I say that the Nintendo DS is great. The DS fever is spreading faster than an airborne case of diarrhea. I don't really know what that means but I am sure it is good.
Perfect Cast: Part II
I forgot to mention a few perfect Superhero/Villain castings... so here we go.
Ioan Gruffudd/Mr. Fantastic
I don't know who he is, I have never heard of him before Fantastic Four. The thing is that he is a dead ringer for Reed Richards/Mr. Fantastic.
Colin Farrell/Bulls Eye
Bulls Eye was the best part of the Daredevil movie. I don't really have anything else good to say about Daredevil!
I know that most movie fans didn't like either Fantastic Four or Daredevil, but there were good parts to both films, and while we will most likely not see a sequel to Daredevil a Fantastic Four sequel is in the works. WOOT!
I am in a Band!
I just to let you know that you can check out our music at myspace.com/thestyleofstyrafoam.
I think most people who read this blog already know about us and how awesome we are.
Monday, June 05, 2006
Blogging for the Sake of Blogging
"Don't bother, it's a real yawner today" said Fedge.
Right now it is mid-afternoon and I am not doing much at the moment. Just thought I would update my blog that way it doesn't look like I am lazy.
I have been reading the July 2006 issue of Asimov's Science Fiction. You should go to your local bookstore, pick it up, and read Impossible Dreams right there in the store. It's not very long and really well written. It's also a good story if you like movies. There is an alternate reality where Enders Game is already a movie directed by Ron Howard. That alone gave me the willies.
My friend Scott just got a Nintendo DS. Too bad he is going to Atlanta till Thursday. I was ready to school him at some Mario Kart.
I also just read on filmforce.ign.com that The Silver Surfer was going to be in the next Fantastic Four movie. That was pretty awesome.
I am going to start reading House (not based on the TV show about the doctor) by Ted Dekker and Frank Peretti. A book my sister described as a SCI-FI channel movie meets a competitive eating contest, so I am looking forward to that one.
I guess that's it.
In conclusion you should go do something more important than read this blog.
Right now it is mid-afternoon and I am not doing much at the moment. Just thought I would update my blog that way it doesn't look like I am lazy.
I have been reading the July 2006 issue of Asimov's Science Fiction. You should go to your local bookstore, pick it up, and read Impossible Dreams right there in the store. It's not very long and really well written. It's also a good story if you like movies. There is an alternate reality where Enders Game is already a movie directed by Ron Howard. That alone gave me the willies.
My friend Scott just got a Nintendo DS. Too bad he is going to Atlanta till Thursday. I was ready to school him at some Mario Kart.
I also just read on filmforce.ign.com that The Silver Surfer was going to be in the next Fantastic Four movie. That was pretty awesome.
I am going to start reading House (not based on the TV show about the doctor) by Ted Dekker and Frank Peretti. A book my sister described as a SCI-FI channel movie meets a competitive eating contest, so I am looking forward to that one.
I guess that's it.
In conclusion you should go do something more important than read this blog.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
X-3
"Intense" said Fedge's sister.
The X-Men fans of America have now been split up into two groups of people. Those that hate X-3 for not going by any formula that can be found in the comics and those that love X-3 for being completely unpredictable.
The X-Men fans of America have now been split up into two groups of people. Those that hate X-3 for not going by any formula that can be found in the comics and those that love X-3 for being completely unpredictable.
Brett Ratner is not as good as a director as Brian Singer. The acting by the second rate characters is not as good as the previous movies. The music is not as good as the previous movies. The fact remains that the story in X-3 is better than any story in any super hero movie to date. Why? Because about half way through X-3 you realize that your precious little comic book heroes are not safe. X-3 separates its self from the comic books by telling the story it wants to tell. I have heard of fans ripping on the movie saying "It is not true to the comics." That is what is so great about it. I had no idea what was going to happen. I didn't feel safe thinking that they couldn't do this or couldn't do that.
The movie definitely has its issues. All the new characters except Beast are poorly developed. You see very little of Angel, Juggernaught, and Multiple Man. There is a good bit of Shadowcat, but not enough to really feel like the character is done as well as possible.
Then there is the dialog. Two parts of the film come to mind. When Xavier is explaining how Jean Grey survived what happened at the end of X-2 and Wolverines inspiring pep rally right before the final battle. I am reminded of Star Wars Episode 3.
The story is so good that even with all the bad things about the movie, X-3 still shines bright. If this is the last of the X-Men movies then I am very happy with what has been given to us. It helps that I went into X-3 with the lowest of expections.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
