Thursday, July 27, 2006

Letter to WHATABURGER

"'Just like you like it?' More like 'Whether you like it or not!'" said Fedge.

Dear WHATABURGER,

Yesterday, before my lunch break, I was trying to decide where I was going to eat. Normally I go to a local BBQ rib restaurant near my place of work. They make very tasty food, with fast service, and always get my order right. You go Adams Rib Co! But, unfortunately I decided it was time for a change of pace. Me and my Fiancee had been talking about your establishment and how we never heard anything good about it. Except for my Dad, he likes your "Food" as you so laughingly call it. In my ignorance I wanted to give WHATABURGER the benefit of the doubt.

I pulled into your parking lot and walked inside to find an entire little league baseball team in line to order. I should have taken this as a sign from God that I was not supposed to eat there today. In my stubbornness, I got back into my van and went through the drive-thru.

Your employee ask if she could take my order, I said "Yes" in my ignorance. I should have taken this last opportunity and gotten out of this doomed venture and ended the Fedge/WHATABURGER disaster before it happened. My proper response should of been "No you can't take my order. I just wanted to let you know that you are going to cost that little league team a chance at a win by serving them your crappy slop!"

Anyway, I ordered a double meat/double cheese burger, again in my ignorance. Why would anyone want a double portion of WHATABURGER? I mean really! With no tomato/no onion. Then on top it all off, I wanted bacon on my burger.

Ok, so I was asking for it a little.

"Would you like to make that a combo?" she said.

"Hell Yeah! I want some greasy over salted fries!" I replied. I mean, to get the amount of salt that you put on your fries into my system, I could either eat your fries, or drink a bottle of soy sauce. In hind sight, I should have gone for the soy sauce.

I then paid, and was given a bag with, what I thought to be, my order inside.

I drove to find a shady spot to park. I was ready to see what WHATABURGER held for me.

The first thing I notice was how salty the fries were, which I already said were too salty. Then I notice what I got was not a double meat/double cheese, but a double meat/single cheese. Not really a big dea... hey where is my BACON, and... and is that onion all over this soggy bun? Oh great, the lettuce taste like a gym sock.

Just to let you know WHATABURGER, I'm going to tell everyone that your food taste like the Dallas Cowboy's locker room floor.

I have one thing to say to anyone else who may be reading this. Believe the hype WHATABURGER is terrible.

So, WHATABURGER, I hope I haven't hurt your feelings. It just seem that you have a lot of work to do. Your company has been around for over 50 years, and you could not have gotten this far with such terrible service. Please, take this as a constructive criticism and fix your food. At least your food isn't as bad a Krystals.

Regretfully Yours,
--Fedge

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Stealth! Who Needs Stealth?

"Oops! I killed the Vice President!" said Fedge.

Me and my buddy Mark got together to play a little game called Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory. A stealth action espionage game were you play Sam Fisher, a master spy and ping pong player. The point of the game is to sneak around all professional like and complete goals while keeping the casualties to a minimum. They do give you some freedom in how you complete the goals. You can either sneak around, avoid cameras, and crawl through ventilation shafts to complete your mission, OR you can run in and shoot up the place. Needless to say I usually prefer the shoot first method.

There are just a few problems with this technique. One, most everyone on the level has guns, and... They don't think twice about shooting back. For the most part the enemies on this game adopt my "Shoot First" method as well. Two, on occasion there are a few enemies they don't want you to kill. So, that's when you would use the non-lethal attack over the lethal attack.

Splinter Cell also has a Co-Op mode, where one of you plays as Sam Fisher and the other as well... Sam Fisher. Uhh... they could have spent maybe a couple more minutes figuring out how that works. I guess maybe he is a clone.

In the Co-Op mode you can lift you partner up to reach high places, or distract enemies so your clone can pass by undetected. Or... you both could run into the room guns blazing. (wink wink)

In one mission we were running into some embassy to interrogate the Vice President of some country. Well someone, and I'm not saying any names, walk up behind the Vice President of Walla Walla, or where ever he is from, and accidentally pulled the lethal trigger. I didn't mean to, and if you didn't know it's really hard to question a dead Vice President.

Well, that means we had to do the entire level over again. It took us about two and a half hours of playing time to finish the first mission.

I think it is safe to say that I am not cut out for the espionage career. Too many missions for me to screw up. Too many VP could get caught by an inadvertent lethal attack.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Mutant League Poker

"Ref bashing on the Sixty Winers" said I.C. Nothing.

Have you ever noticed how online poker is free? Yeah so did I. There are a ton of free online poker rooms, all with Texas Hold em' and usually a few other poker variations available. There is never a shortage of people on most of the poker rooms. You can literally get on and be playing in under a minute.

You can go to:

PartyPoker.net
PokerStars.net
BoDog.net
ParadisePoker.net
and my favorite FullTiltPoker.net.

All of which have hundreds, if not thousands, of players online at anytime of day.

So, why would anyone buy a poker video game?

The only reason I can think of is to have the graphics upgrade. The problem with poker video games is that they do not offer anything, other than graphics, that would make me want to purchase a copy.

When you play the free online computer poker games it takes barely anytime at all to get a 18 player game started. While it takes upward of 15 minutes to get a 6 player game started on the XBOX Live version on World Championship Poker.

Well, that put me to thinkin'. What would make a poker video game really worth 50 bucks?

What if you could cheat at a poker game?

What if you could call you opponent a cheater?

What if by calling your opponent a cheater, if he was indeed cheating, you could get in a fist fight with him, maybe even shoot him with a grenade launcher?

What if you could bribe the dealer?

What if you could beat up a dealer who has been bribed?

What if you were playing as zombies?

This is beginning to sound like one of the best games I ever played growing up, Mutant League Football.

In Mutant League Football you could bribe the ref, beat up the ref, and throw dynamite at the other team. All while trying not to step on a land mine on your way to the end zone.

Why, this formula could work for just about any sport.

Try Mutant League Baseball, Mutant League Tennis, or Mutant League Golf.

You could even try it with Sports you hate, Mutant League NASCAR, Mutant League Soccer, or Mutant League Competative Eating.

I would play all of these games.

The only Mutant League game I could think of that would suck is Mutant Leage Chess. I'm sorry but you just can't make chess fun to watch, even with land mines.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Two Weeks Notice


"Will you marry me?" said Fedge.

"Yes" said Fedge's new fiancee.


As of tomorrow I will have been engaged 2 weeks. That's why I haven't updated my blog lately. But can you blame me? I didn't think so.

It's true, planning a wedding is a lot of work. All of the people in my life who told me that over the years were not pooping around the bush.

But, being engaged is great. I love having a fiancee. I love watching her show the ring off as she smiles real big. It makes me feel really great. When she said "Yes" it was the greatest feeling I can ever remember having. Joy and relief all rolled in to one. Now that she has said "Yes", I have asked her to marry me a couple more times. It's not as nerve racking the second and third time around.

It 's My Birthday

That's right, today is my birthday and I am at work. I am going out to dinner tonight with some friends and my fiance (saying that just doesn't get old). I am going to get a margarita and a burrito (not a shake n' bake burrito).

Friday, July 07, 2006

Not Reeve, Not Nicholson

"This is not really a review" said Fedge.

First off, Superman Returns is great. You will enjoy it, maybe. If you were a fan of the first two movies and not the last two Reeves movies, then you will be happy to know that Superman Returns ignores Superman 3 and Superman 4. The first clue of this is when you realize that Lois Lane has no idea that Superman is Clark Kent. Once you get over this small speed bump you will be ready to enjoy Superman Returns... maybe.

You see, every review I have read so far has one thing in common. "Routh is no Reeve." I am so glad every movie critic was there to remind me of this. I forgot completely that Christopher Reeve passed away. That's sarcasm if you didn't know.

We all know that Brandon Routh is not the same dude who was in the original films. If you go into the movie looking for an actor to do his best impression of Christopher Reeve, then you will be disappointed. But if you are looking for an actor to do his best impression of Superman/Clark Kent, then you are in for a treat. Routh is great at playing Superman and even better at playing Clark Kent. He plays Clark Kent like none other, that's right better than Chris.

Kate Bosworth is just as bad a playing Lois Lane as Margot Kidder was by the way.

Kevin Spacey is, as I suspected, perfect as Lex Luthor.

But, this is not really meant to be a review so to speak. What I really want to say is this. Why do movie critics compare Routh to Reeve? Routh is not playing Reeve, he is playing Superman. It seems everyone who loves the original Superman films will not except another actor playing Superman. Even if he is better suited for the role. There are some who may compare Gene Hackman to Kevin Spacey. In my mind there really is no competition. Spacey makes a better Lex Luthor. Spacey does not make a great Gene Hackman, and that's good, because he is playing Lex. I hope I am making my point clear.

Which leads me to Batman Begins 2 , which will most likely not be the title of the movie.

Joker is slated to be the villian in the next Batman movie. The Joker is by far my favorite comic book character. As most of us know the last theatrical portral of the Joker was played by Jack Nicholson. And while I agree it will be hard for someone to play the Joker better than Nicholson, I am not going to close minded about another actor in the role. The Joker can still be done better. I don't know how or by whom, but there is still room for improvment. I don't plan on going into the movie to compare the two actors. I just want to see how well the actor playing the Joker, plays the Joker.