Best of 2007

Start the year off right, with a post.

Last year I did a list of the best books, music, and movies. I am going to do things a little bit different this year. I am going to do best of 07, "Dumb Stuff" style! What I mean by that is, there will be weird categories, like Best Prank Call. Also, if I do a best of 2007 movie or book, it doesn't unnecessarily mean that said movie or book came out in 07, it just took me to 07 to get to it. Let's begin.

Best Movie

Without question, Pan's Labyrinth. Dark, violent, and satisfying. Not because it was dark or violent, but because it was a perfectly told story. It was dark where it needed to be. It was violent where it needed to be. It was brilliantly acted. It stayed with me long after I finish watching it. Great movie.

Best CD

The Reminder by Feist. Not to toot my own horn... well actually, to toot my own horn, I was listening to Feist long before she did that iPod commercial. Granted her last album was no where near as good as this one. There are a few songs that suck, like Sea Lion, but for the most part the album is wonderful.

Worst Book Concepts

Manliness books. Books written by dudes that think it is manly to act like a moron. I forgot the title of the book, but it was something to the effect of The Handbook to Manliness. It features illustrated instructions on how to properly punch another man in the balls, head butt a woman in the breast, and how to grope a random woman at a concert. Classy stuff. If I saw a dude randomly groping unsuspecting women, I would use the punch in the balls techniques on dude.

Best Video Game

NHL 08. The best sports game in years! Flawless in gameplay, great graphics, and tons of play modes. The only not perfect thing about this game is the presentation. But as long as the game plays great, I not be carin'.

Best Prank Call

Normally when I prank call a friend, I assume that they will know it is me right away. So, I usually go for funny over actually trying to trick them into thinking it is real.

Enter Jason, a new friend from work.

We both work together and we both have voice mail at work. A recipe of awesome.

I was at the house one evening when I had this great idea for a prank call. I called him, again, totally assuming that I would be busted as soon as I started speaking, and left a voice mail for him. I did a Kip from Napoleon Dynamite voice for this one.

It went a little something like this.

Yes Jason, this is Felix. I called you last week about setting up an account with you. We had a good talk. I told you that I liked figure skating and you said you liked it too. I told you my favorite skater was Michelle Kwan, and you said your was Danny Bonaduce. I thought this was cool and you sold me some stuff.

Well come to find out, after doing some research on your favorite skater, I found out the Danny Bonaduce was an actor on the Partridge Family. So you lied to me!

Now usually when I make a prank call, if my cover isn't blow right from the get, it gets blown when I mention Danny Bonaduce. Anyway, he didn't know it was be until the very end. After a good laugh we did that only thing left to do. Play it for out supervisors and pretend it was real. They both bought it. It was great.

Last on Board Award...

...goes to me finally reading Harry Potter. Well not reading technically. I did check out the audio books from the library and listen to them on a few trips we took this year. Yes they are great, but I am not hooked like other people. I have gone through the first six books. I am waiting for the library to get the last book back in. If I were truly hooked I would have read my wifes copy of the last book by now.

Best Dump

June 16 at 6:15pm. Amazing!

Worst Months for Blogging

September and December: Zero Post.

Best Book

I said it last year, I don't really read books in the year they come out. That being said, I don't know what the best book I read was this year. So, here are some highlights.

Knight Life by Peter David
War of Gifts by Orson Scott Card
Tears of Artamon Trilogy by Sarah Ash
Last Colony by John Scalzi

Ok, that's it. I going to bed. Happy New Year.

The Best of 2006

I hate media. All of it, without exception. Movies, music, games, books, you name it, I can't stand.

Well, except for all the I thought was awesome that came out this year.

Music

Stadium Arcadium by Red Hot Chili Peppers, My Island by Starflyer 59, The Best-Worst Case Scenario by Fair, The Crane Wife by The Decemberist, Get Behind Me Satan by The White Stripes, ...and the Summertime Pool Party by Pigeon John.

Movies

Monster House, Walk the Line, Nanny McPhee, and Superman Returns

Thats about it on the movies this year. Kinda slow year.

Books

I don't read a lot of books on the year they came out. Most of the time I pick them up years down after their release. The books I did read that came out in 2006 were House and Saint by Ted Dekker, The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly, and The Looking Glass Wars by Frank Beddor. The only one I would suggest to you is Looking Glass Wars. It's and alternate version of Alice and Wonderland, and it turned out pretty well.

Games

Year in and year out, my favorite game is usually a sports title, except for the year that Halo 2 came out, and this year. Although NCAA Football 07 is amazing and I still play it a couple times a week.

The best game that came out in 2006 is New Super Mario Bros. It was outselling all other games on all other systems for months. It plays like a dream.

The other great games game of 2006 I played were, Far Cry Instincts (XBox), Yoshi's Island (DS), Tetris (DS), and Club House Games (DS).

In Conclusion

Well, 2006 was awesome. I got married in 2006, what did you do?

Madden NFL 07 and Babel Fish

Please stop e-mailing me, you imaginary people. I know it has been a week since I blogged for yo ace. So what? I'm busy!

But I'm back now, and just in time for Madden 07.

Usually, the first thing I do with my brand new copy of EA Sports annually pro football release is to play one game against my friend Nesto. He picks the Falcons, I play as the mighty Bucs. When Nesto and I play each other, I normally win 75% of the time. Most of the time by a slim margin.

This year was no exception.

I am getting ahead of myself. If you didn't guess already, Madden release at 12:01 this morning and Nesto was the first one in line to buy our copies. Last night/this morning makes my fourth midnight video game release I have been to (Halo2, NCAA Football 06, NCAA Football 07, and Madden 07.) Last night was by far the most fun I have had at one of these functions. It is a special thing to find a small store filled with video game/NFL dorks. I dorked out for an hour with other fellow Madden fans. That was great fun, but there was a woopin' that needed gettin' done... I think that was the worst sentence I have ever written.

After snatching up our games, we headed over to Nesto's, booted up the XBOX, and fired up the HDTV.

We picked our teams, and we were off.

The Falcons won the coin loss and elected to kick. That's when the Bucs did the unthinkable. They went three and out and punted away to the Falcons. Mike Vick was efficient and scored quickly through the air. After the extra point and ensuing kick-off, the Bucs learned from there first possession, and promptly went 3 and out again. The Falcons scored quickly again, making it 14-0. The Bucs were able to rebound and tie the game up before halftime. You know what? I'm just going to skip ahead, because I'm lazy and you don't really want to read a recap of two dudes playing a video game.

It was the 4th Quarter and the Bucs were down by 3 scores, Falcons had control of the football. Ronde Barber was quiet most of the game until he intercepted a pass that he returned for a touchdown. The Falcons had the ball after the kick-off. Vick made the mistake of throwing it in Barber's direction again, Ronde returned another INT for a TD. The teams were knotted up. Somehow, and I don't remember how, the Bucs scored another touchdown in the forth quarter to take the lead. Not to worry, because Vick came right out and tied it up with a scoring drive of his own. It was time for OT.

Now, I have never had a score like this in Madden, specifically against Nesto, but going in to OT it was 70-70.

The Bucs won the toss and elected to receive. Chris Simms added to his already huge 400 yard game and drove his team down for the winning touchdown. The Bucs retained the title.

Those of you who are still reading, I thank you for humoring me. I know what I wrote today was boring and dumb. But this is "DUMB STUFF I WROTE!" What did you think you were going to get? A Pulitzer Prize winning essay?

BABEL FISH

Babel Fish is a translation tool you can use for free. It is great fun to take a blog and translate it from English to German, then from German back to English. Below is the very same blog you just read, translated in such a fashion.

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Totally Dorky Complete

It's no secret that I am a complete dork total. I like comic book movies and science fiction novels. If you were to ask me about any of the new superhero movies that are coming out in the near future, I could most likely tell you who is directing it, what films that director has made in the past, and who is staring in it. I know a lot of stuff about video games too. I read most of the game reviews that show up on Gamespot.com and IGN.com. I should really find something else to spend my time researching.

I could read up on astro-physics, computer networking, or the anatomy of Shake n' Bake. Does it do me any good to know this stuff about movies? I don't think so, it just makes me look like a complete dork total.

Most of my friends spend hours each week playing World of Warcraft. Then, they feel the need to let me know about all the boring stuff they did in the game. I don't care what level your paladin is. What the hell is a paladin anyway?

A couple of days ago, I was dorking out on the phone with my fiancee. Some how I got on the topic of my favorite video game, NCAA Football 07. I talked about all the stuff you could do in dynasty mode. How when your players graduate you can export them to your hard drive, (memory card if you don't own a XBOX) then draft them in that years copy of MADDEN. I just went on and on. That's when she pointed out to me that I was a dork. It's true, I am the type of guy who stays up till midnight the day before the release of MADDEN just to be one of the first to own a copy. I am a complete dork total. Who am I to make fun of World of Warcraft freaks?

You might find yourself wondering why I use the phrase "complete dork total". Well, that would be a reference to a thirty minute movie that only 7 people have seen (all of which were introduced to the movie by me) called The Blair Thumb.


What you haven't heard of it? I am not surprised.

As you could guess, it is a spoof of the film The Blair Witch. The Blair Thumb was created by a guy named Steve Oedekerk. Oedekerk is, in my opinion, the funniest comedy writer in Hollywood. Only a handful of people share my opinion.

Back to the reference. The three main characters are in a tent in the woods. When out of nowhere they are attacked by a shark. Thats right a shark in the woods. After the incident, Stressy (the girl in the group), tries to explain to Vic and Jish (such an odd name) that it was not a shark. To which Vic replies "It was totally sharky... complete". That is great comedy writing if I have ever heard it.

I mean, I am not even quoting the movie correctly. Totally Dorky Complete? You have to admit that is really lame. I can't hide from it, I am totally dorky complete.

Stealth! Who Needs Stealth?

"Oops! I killed the Vice President!" said Fedge.

Me and my buddy Mark got together to play a little game called Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory. A stealth action espionage game were you play Sam Fisher, a master spy and ping pong player. The point of the game is to sneak around all professional like and complete goals while keeping the casualties to a minimum. They do give you some freedom in how you complete the goals. You can either sneak around, avoid cameras, and crawl through ventilation shafts to complete your mission, OR you can run in and shoot up the place. Needless to say I usually prefer the shoot first method.

There are just a few problems with this technique. One, most everyone on the level has guns, and... They don't think twice about shooting back. For the most part the enemies on this game adopt my "Shoot First" method as well. Two, on occasion there are a few enemies they don't want you to kill. So, that's when you would use the non-lethal attack over the lethal attack.

Splinter Cell also has a Co-Op mode, where one of you plays as Sam Fisher and the other as well... Sam Fisher. Uhh... they could have spent maybe a couple more minutes figuring out how that works. I guess maybe he is a clone.

In the Co-Op mode you can lift you partner up to reach high places, or distract enemies so your clone can pass by undetected. Or... you both could run into the room guns blazing. (wink wink)

In one mission we were running into some embassy to interrogate the Vice President of some country. Well someone, and I'm not saying any names, walk up behind the Vice President of Walla Walla, or where ever he is from, and accidentally pulled the lethal trigger. I didn't mean to, and if you didn't know it's really hard to question a dead Vice President.

Well, that means we had to do the entire level over again. It took us about two and a half hours of playing time to finish the first mission.

I think it is safe to say that I am not cut out for the espionage career. Too many missions for me to screw up. Too many VP could get caught by an inadvertent lethal attack.

Mutant League Poker

"Ref bashing on the Sixty Winers" said I.C. Nothing.

Have you ever noticed how online poker is free? Yeah so did I. There are a ton of free online poker rooms, all with Texas Hold em' and usually a few other poker variations available. There is never a shortage of people on most of the poker rooms. You can literally get on and be playing in under a minute.

You can go to:

PartyPoker.net
PokerStars.net
BoDog.net
ParadisePoker.net
and my favorite FullTiltPoker.net.

All of which have hundreds, if not thousands, of players online at anytime of day.

So, why would anyone buy a poker video game?

The only reason I can think of is to have the graphics upgrade. The problem with poker video games is that they do not offer anything, other than graphics, that would make me want to purchase a copy.

When you play the free online computer poker games it takes barely anytime at all to get a 18 player game started. While it takes upward of 15 minutes to get a 6 player game started on the XBOX Live version on World Championship Poker.

Well, that put me to thinkin'. What would make a poker video game really worth 50 bucks?

What if you could cheat at a poker game?

What if you could call you opponent a cheater?

What if by calling your opponent a cheater, if he was indeed cheating, you could get in a fist fight with him, maybe even shoot him with a grenade launcher?

What if you could bribe the dealer?

What if you could beat up a dealer who has been bribed?

What if you were playing as zombies?

This is beginning to sound like one of the best games I ever played growing up, Mutant League Football.

In Mutant League Football you could bribe the ref, beat up the ref, and throw dynamite at the other team. All while trying not to step on a land mine on your way to the end zone.

Why, this formula could work for just about any sport.

Try Mutant League Baseball, Mutant League Tennis, or Mutant League Golf.

You could even try it with Sports you hate, Mutant League NASCAR, Mutant League Soccer, or Mutant League Competative Eating.

I would play all of these games.

The only Mutant League game I could think of that would suck is Mutant Leage Chess. I'm sorry but you just can't make chess fun to watch, even with land mines.

We Got the DS Goin' Nuts! and more...

"Eat that you dirty turd burglar!" said Fedge.

Yesterday, I spent the evening with Scott and Raf playing Nintendo DS. Not a big deal you say. I beg to differ, I bought the DS when it came out in 2004. I have only once before yesterday played any multi-player that was not through Nintendo WI-FI. Don't get me wrong it is fun to play over the internet, but when I throw down on Tetris, Mario Kart, and Bomberman, I want to talk some trash. Unfortunately, you can't talk trash over Nintendo WI-FI.

It was so nice to tell Scott to "Stick it!" when I dropped the bomb that killed him in Bomberman. Don't worry though it was all in good fun, when I talk trash all I am doing is enjoying playing with good friends. I am never trying to hurt anyone's feelings. If it makes you feel better Scott told me that I suck a few times last night.

Scott's buddy Richie came over (who is planning on getting a DS Lite when it comes out) as well as Brian, who bought a DS that night.

Yes, people are starting to listen when I say that the Nintendo DS is great. The DS fever is spreading faster than an airborne case of diarrhea. I don't really know what that means but I am sure it is good.

Perfect Cast: Part II

I forgot to mention a few perfect Superhero/Villain castings... so here we go.

Ioan Gruffudd/Mr. Fantastic
I don't know who he is, I have never heard of him before Fantastic Four. The thing is that he is a dead ringer for Reed Richards/Mr. Fantastic.

Colin Farrell/Bulls Eye
Bulls Eye was the best part of the Daredevil movie. I don't really have anything else good to say about Daredevil!

I know that most movie fans didn't like either Fantastic Four or Daredevil, but there were good parts to both films, and while we will most likely not see a sequel to Daredevil a Fantastic Four sequel is in the works. WOOT!

I am in a Band!
I just to let you know that you can check out our music at myspace.com/thestyleofstyrafoam.
I think most people who read this blog already know about us and how awesome we are.

Blogging for the Sake of Blogging

"Don't bother, it's a real yawner today" said Fedge.

Right now it is mid-afternoon and I am not doing much at the moment. Just thought I would update my blog that way it doesn't look like I am lazy.

I have been reading the July 2006 issue of Asimov's Science Fiction. You should go to your local bookstore, pick it up, and read Impossible Dreams right there in the store. It's not very long and really well written. It's also a good story if you like movies. There is an alternate reality where Enders Game is already a movie directed by Ron Howard. That alone gave me the willies.

My friend Scott just got a Nintendo DS. Too bad he is going to Atlanta till Thursday. I was ready to school him at some Mario Kart.

I also just read on filmforce.ign.com that The Silver Surfer was going to be in the next Fantastic Four movie. That was pretty awesome.

I am going to start reading House (not based on the TV show about the doctor) by Ted Dekker and Frank Peretti. A book my sister described as a SCI-FI channel movie meets a competitive eating contest, so I am looking forward to that one.

I guess that's it.

In conclusion you should go do something more important than read this blog.

All is Right in The World

"Blah Blah Blah" said Fedge.

These 3 things I know, and they are all good.

• New Mario Bros.

Is the best side scrolling platformer to come out since Super Mario 3.
What Nintendo has done is taken all the best elements from there previous Mario games, mashed them and smashed them into one great title. On top of that there is plenty of new stuff added in to keep it innovative. Not to mention that's it pretty to look at. The 2D/3D hybrid idea has been used successfully before in other DS titles, Mario Kart for example, but not quite like this. It is so well done and so great to look at. Bowser looks outstanding. New Mario Bros. controls like a Mario game should. Responsive and intuitive. Jeffy Likes.

• Stadium Arcadium

Is the best Red Hot Chili Peppers album to date. Nearly all of the 28 song on this double disc delectable delight are not only good, but amazing. My girlfriend will testify to me walking around the kitchen singing songs from the album. It's not really amazing that I am singing around her, I do that all the time. Usually the songs I sing are songs I made up in my head on the spot. I mean who could forget hits like "I Like to Eat Butter Straight", "That's not Lunch, that's a Grenade!", or even "Getting Stuck in the Dishwasher isn't as Fun as You Might Think". All of which are great songs, but none of them compare to the goodies awaiting America on the new Chili Pepper album.

• I am the Luckiest Man on Earth

When I said in my last blog that I was dating the best woman in the world I was not joking. She is going out of town next week and I am going to miss her. I love how she encourages me, goes to bookstores with me 2-4 times a week, prays with me, cooks for me, and gives up her free time for me. Oh yeah, and she is beautiful. Yeah it's sappy, but I don't care. I'm too happy to care if you think I'm sappy. Hey that rhymes.

Today is a Day of the Week.

"Sorry Fedge, but your readers are on another blog." said Toadstool

Today is the day that New Mario Bros. for the Nintendo DS comes out. I have to go to Ocala for a job, but on the way I plan on stomping by my local video game supplier and picking up a copy. Then, for the rest of the day I will be stomping on turtles and beating the ever loving crap out of Bowser. Yes, I have wonderful evening planed for my self. In all reality though I will most likely just play it for an hour or so. I plan on using more of my free time enjoying the company of my girlfriend. Play video games all day is overrated when you are dating the best woman on the planet.