Monday, August 14, 2006

Totally Dorky Complete

It's no secret that I am a complete dork total. I like comic book movies and science fiction novels. If you were to ask me about any of the new superhero movies that are coming out in the near future, I could most likely tell you who is directing it, what films that director has made in the past, and who is staring in it. I know a lot of stuff about video games too. I read most of the game reviews that show up on and I should really find something else to spend my time researching.

I could read up on astro-physics, computer networking, or the anatomy of Shake n' Bake. Does it do me any good to know this stuff about movies? I don't think so, it just makes me look like a complete dork total.

Most of my friends spend hours each week playing World of Warcraft. Then, they feel the need to let me know about all the boring stuff they did in the game. I don't care what level your paladin is. What the hell is a paladin anyway?

A couple of days ago, I was dorking out on the phone with my fiancee. Some how I got on the topic of my favorite video game, NCAA Football 07. I talked about all the stuff you could do in dynasty mode. How when your players graduate you can export them to your hard drive, (memory card if you don't own a XBOX) then draft them in that years copy of MADDEN. I just went on and on. That's when she pointed out to me that I was a dork. It's true, I am the type of guy who stays up till midnight the day before the release of MADDEN just to be one of the first to own a copy. I am a complete dork total. Who am I to make fun of World of Warcraft freaks?

You might find yourself wondering why I use the phrase "complete dork total". Well, that would be a reference to a thirty minute movie that only 7 people have seen (all of which were introduced to the movie by me) called The Blair Thumb.

What you haven't heard of it? I am not surprised.

As you could guess, it is a spoof of the film The Blair Witch. The Blair Thumb was created by a guy named Steve Oedekerk. Oedekerk is, in my opinion, the funniest comedy writer in Hollywood. Only a handful of people share my opinion.

Back to the reference. The three main characters are in a tent in the woods. When out of nowhere they are attacked by a shark. Thats right a shark in the woods. After the incident, Stressy (the girl in the group), tries to explain to Vic and Jish (such an odd name) that it was not a shark. To which Vic replies "It was totally sharky... complete". That is great comedy writing if I have ever heard it.

I mean, I am not even quoting the movie correctly. Totally Dorky Complete? You have to admit that is really lame. I can't hide from it, I am totally dorky complete.

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