Monday, June 19, 2006

Proper Training

"Meow, I'm a cat" said Styrafoam.

I am picky with my books, real picky. Not just with the stories they contain or the writing style of the author. I am very finicky about buying a new book. I want the cover to be in pristine condition, no dents, no bends, and no rips. Also (here is where it gets weird) I am picky in the way a book smells. That's right smells! I can tell you the publisher of the books I read just by the smell alone. I know you are jealous, but its a gift.

That being said my sister has a cat. Not just any cat, but the most insane cat in the 48 continental United States (I here there is a cat in Alaska who is much more crazy). It is not strange for a cat to nip at you when you are petting or rough housing with it. This is even more true with young cats like my sisters. Young cats tend to bite hard. One time I was sitting on my couch petting "Kitty Lumpkens" and he nipped at me pretty good, nearly breaking the skin. So, I gave him a loving tap on the bum to let him know that I don't welcome his nips. He jumped from my lap over to my coffee table. That's when the unthinkable happened. Lumpkens turned around, and started creeping ever so slowly closer to me. He worked his way up to my lap, looking very cute. I thought he was coming over to say he was sorry. I could not have been more wrong. Just when Lumpkens was looking his cutest, he leaped at me and sunk his teeth in to my FACE! MY FACE! Do you see how this could be a problem?

My sisters cat loves to drink out of other peoples water glasses. He also has a tendency to knock them over and spill the contents over everything in a two foot radius. On more than one occasion he as spilled water over a few of my books sitting on my coffee table. This may not be a big deal to you, but to me its like he is ruining my books. Someone somewhere taught their cat how to drink out of a glass the proper way. Look at the good kitty. He is a good boy drinking all by hims little self. I have an offer to make to the owner of this cat. If you are willing to trade you well behaved, child safe, kitty for an insane, most likely drug influenced, cat let me know.

Six months!

Today is my sixth month anniversary with my girlfriend. She is the only one who reads this blog and is endlessly encouraging to me and my writing, what little writing I have actually done. Tonight we are going our favorite restaurant and celebrating. I love you babe.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Expectations and Disappointment

"No quote for you!" said Fedge.

Next week the newest of superhero movies comes out, Superman Returns. I have very high expectations for Brian Singer's latest film. I MEAN BIG! If you have read my blog you know that I really liked the last X-Men movie. While most of the professional critics ripped the film apart with true statements about real issues that the film actually had. I agreed with most of thier comments, but I still enjoyed it none the less. The reason was because my expectations were so low. Allow me to illustrate using MS Paint!

I would put my expectations for X-Men 3 at 6. What I got was an 7. A six means I think the movie won't be very good but I will enjoy it none the less. A 7 means that the movie was good. I went in expecting a 6, got a 7, and there for it felt like an 8. Get it? Yeah, neither do I.

But I digress. What I am expecting from Superman Returns is a 9. Pretty lofty. So the only way that I will leave the theatre satisfied is if I get a nine or a ten.

Now you may ask the question, "Why don't you just go in to every movie expecting a one? Then you will like almost every movie you see!" You answered you own question. I went to see Doom. The film adaptation of a gory video game. I expected a 4 and got a 3. Needless to say I was disappointed. Do you realize how embarrassing it would be to tell everyone I know that I liked Doom? I can see it now.

"Hey Jeff, what did you think of Blade 7?"

"Oh I loved it, I like how they picked Chris Tucker to fill in for Wesley Snipes as Blade!"


"Yo Jeffro, How did you feel about Stay?"

"I really enjoyed how they made it so you couldn't follow the story."

or even...

"Hey J, I just saw Teletubbies take on the Nazi's in 3-D! I know you had to like that!"

"YEAH! Hitler never saw Tinkie Winkie coming!"

Do you see how this could become a problem? If I said every movie was good, then no one would respect my opinion on a movie. Not that they do now. Although, that Teletubbies/Nazi movie does sound pretty good.

Friday, June 09, 2006

We Got the DS Goin' Nuts! and more...

"Eat that you dirty turd burglar!" said Fedge.

Yesterday, I spent the evening with Scott and Raf playing Nintendo DS. Not a big deal you say. I beg to differ, I bought the DS when it came out in 2004. I have only once before yesterday played any multi-player that was not through Nintendo WI-FI. Don't get me wrong it is fun to play over the internet, but when I throw down on Tetris, Mario Kart, and Bomberman, I want to talk some trash. Unfortunately, you can't talk trash over Nintendo WI-FI.

It was so nice to tell Scott to "Stick it!" when I dropped the bomb that killed him in Bomberman. Don't worry though it was all in good fun, when I talk trash all I am doing is enjoying playing with good friends. I am never trying to hurt anyone's feelings. If it makes you feel better Scott told me that I suck a few times last night.

Scott's buddy Richie came over (who is planning on getting a DS Lite when it comes out) as well as Brian, who bought a DS that night.

Yes, people are starting to listen when I say that the Nintendo DS is great. The DS fever is spreading faster than an airborne case of diarrhea. I don't really know what that means but I am sure it is good.

Perfect Cast: Part II

I forgot to mention a few perfect Superhero/Villain castings... so here we go.

Ioan Gruffudd/Mr. Fantastic
I don't know who he is, I have never heard of him before Fantastic Four. The thing is that he is a dead ringer for Reed Richards/Mr. Fantastic.

Colin Farrell/Bulls Eye
Bulls Eye was the best part of the Daredevil movie. I don't really have anything else good to say about Daredevil!

I know that most movie fans didn't like either Fantastic Four or Daredevil, but there were good parts to both films, and while we will most likely not see a sequel to Daredevil a Fantastic Four sequel is in the works. WOOT!

I am in a Band!
I just to let you know that you can check out our music at
I think most people who read this blog already know about us and how awesome we are.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Blogging for the Sake of Blogging

"Don't bother, it's a real yawner today" said Fedge.

Right now it is mid-afternoon and I am not doing much at the moment. Just thought I would update my blog that way it doesn't look like I am lazy.

I have been reading the July 2006 issue of Asimov's Science Fiction. You should go to your local bookstore, pick it up, and read Impossible Dreams right there in the store. It's not very long and really well written. It's also a good story if you like movies. There is an alternate reality where Enders Game is already a movie directed by Ron Howard. That alone gave me the willies.

My friend Scott just got a Nintendo DS. Too bad he is going to Atlanta till Thursday. I was ready to school him at some Mario Kart.

I also just read on that The Silver Surfer was going to be in the next Fantastic Four movie. That was pretty awesome.

I am going to start reading House (not based on the TV show about the doctor) by Ted Dekker and Frank Peretti. A book my sister described as a SCI-FI channel movie meets a competitive eating contest, so I am looking forward to that one.

I guess that's it.

In conclusion you should go do something more important than read this blog.