Monday, June 19, 2006

Proper Training

"Meow, I'm a cat" said Styrafoam.

I am picky with my books, real picky. Not just with the stories they contain or the writing style of the author. I am very finicky about buying a new book. I want the cover to be in pristine condition, no dents, no bends, and no rips. Also (here is where it gets weird) I am picky in the way a book smells. That's right smells! I can tell you the publisher of the books I read just by the smell alone. I know you are jealous, but its a gift.

That being said my sister has a cat. Not just any cat, but the most insane cat in the 48 continental United States (I here there is a cat in Alaska who is much more crazy). It is not strange for a cat to nip at you when you are petting or rough housing with it. This is even more true with young cats like my sisters. Young cats tend to bite hard. One time I was sitting on my couch petting "Kitty Lumpkens" and he nipped at me pretty good, nearly breaking the skin. So, I gave him a loving tap on the bum to let him know that I don't welcome his nips. He jumped from my lap over to my coffee table. That's when the unthinkable happened. Lumpkens turned around, and started creeping ever so slowly closer to me. He worked his way up to my lap, looking very cute. I thought he was coming over to say he was sorry. I could not have been more wrong. Just when Lumpkens was looking his cutest, he leaped at me and sunk his teeth in to my FACE! MY FACE! Do you see how this could be a problem?

My sisters cat loves to drink out of other peoples water glasses. He also has a tendency to knock them over and spill the contents over everything in a two foot radius. On more than one occasion he as spilled water over a few of my books sitting on my coffee table. This may not be a big deal to you, but to me its like he is ruining my books. Someone somewhere taught their cat how to drink out of a glass the proper way. Look at the good kitty. He is a good boy drinking all by hims little self. I have an offer to make to the owner of this cat. If you are willing to trade you well behaved, child safe, kitty for an insane, most likely drug influenced, cat let me know.

Six months!

Today is my sixth month anniversary with my girlfriend. She is the only one who reads this blog and is endlessly encouraging to me and my writing, what little writing I have actually done. Tonight we are going our favorite restaurant and celebrating. I love you babe.


psonica said...

Keep up the good work. thnx!

Norton G. Francenstien said...

Listen here you random person. If I needed encouragement I would get it from someone who is actually reading my blog. So go away psonica and never come back.