Tuesday, December 19, 2006

BFTSOB 5: Living up to the name "Dumb Stuff I Wrote!"

I have received a number of complaints (well, one complaint, by Shane), saying I don't blog enough.

Have you read a blog by me that I did just because there was nothing else to do but blog.

It would sound a little a-like-a-dis...

So, me and Luke Wilson were hanging out at a Taco Bell talking about our theological views. I was on my second bean burrito and Luke was finishing up his double dump chalupa when Dick Clark came in the door counting down to the year 2007. Now, when this happened it was the middle of November, so you can imagine our surprise. He still had a lot of seconds to go. The last time I saw Dick Clark in a Taco Bell , he entered himself in the 2001 Taco Bell celebrity "Eat until you pass out" contest. If you remember correctly it was the event that Ben Affleck, Snoop Dogg, and John Tesh were all hospitalized at. Most of them on there third bag of cinnacrisp. But not Dick Clark, his iron stomach never gave in.

But I digress, I looked at Luke and gave him the code word, "Twinkie". He knew that this meant to lay down suppressive fire. Luke whipped out his Uzi and emptied his clip forcing all the taco bell workers to duck for cover. I took this moment to hop over the counter and into the grease laden kitchen where they make the "food". I snatched up all the toys that go in the kids meals. They were toys based on the movie Fast Getaway staring Corey Haim.

I heard a click. "I'm out!", Luke yelled at me.

AHHHHH!! OK, I am going to stop now. Do you see where this is going. I was trying to stop posting blogs like this. Me, writing about the first thing that comes to mind is a dangerous thing. Especially for Dick Clark.

Why can't I blog about normal things, like this sore in the back of my mouth. Have you ever had some one stab you in the mouth with a tooth pick covered in Texas Pete's Wing sauce. No? Well, I guess you don't hang out at Jimmy's House of Lacerations. Any who, that's what it feels like. I have been using that sore throat numbing spray. It helps, but the after taste leaves me feeling like I ate a rusty microwave.

I started reading Nobody Gets the Girl by James Maxey. It calls its self a comic book novel. The main characters name is Richard Rogers. After Dr. Know goes back in time and accidentally erases Richard from existence (kind of). Richard awakes in his own house and finds that he and his wife don't live there anymore, but in his place in another married couple. After repeated attempts to talk to the new tenets of the house, he soon finds out that he is invisible and is unable to be heard.

Dr. Know knows that he has erased Richards past. He takes him from his old house and brings him to a mansion. Dr. Know is able to see Richard because he believes he exist. Apparently this is genetic, because his two daughters also can see him as well.

I really like it so far.

Well, that's it I'm done blogging for today. I think some people just need to learn patience.


Shane Lancaster said...

Yeah! thats what I'm talking about! now my day...no my life is complete...I'm done...finished...I win...I beat the game of life....so long suckers!!!!!

Norton G. Francenstien said...

You beat the game of life. Just remember who's blog it was that got you there.